-=:[LuV.hUrtS]:=-

2009-06-30T21:41:00.021+08:00

Hi all, I'm back again after a long hiatus. I apologise for not updating this blog for like a million years as I've been extremely busy with work. Nothing much has been happening in my life except that i'm getting busier and busier with work. I barely have time to meet up with my friends. Sorry dudes, I feel that I've neglected you guys.

I've been travelling again for work. I was in KL in May and I just got back from Bangkok yesterday. I was in Bangkok for 2 weeks and I had a wonderful time as my family and Yush accompanied me on this trip. It's a wonderful change to the usual lonely trips that I had before =) Pictures below.

With the H1N1 flu raging on, it seems that the world that we are all living in is turning into a much dangerous place than it already is. If this is not a wake up call to the world, then I don't know what is. We take things for granted. Nothing ever satisfy us anymore. People has been living behind rose coloured shades... its time we wake up and take off those shades and see the world as it is.

I was in Bangkok when I heard the news. Michael Jackson passing away had such an impact on me that kept thinking about him throughout the days there. Every time I got back to the hotel, I would turn on the BBC news for more information. I grew up with his music and I am truly saddened that he is no more. I am glad that I managed to catch him live in concert when he came down years back at the national stadium. No matter what people say about him, no matter if he ever did those things that was said, to me he will always be my idol. For me, I believe in his innocence. He is the true World Idol, a Legend. He will truly be missed.

The world media is simply incorrigible. Even though he is dead, all that they care about is increasing their sales by bringing up the past again. The guy is dead, leave him to rest in peace for goodness sake. Selfish idiots..

2008-11-18T19:39:00.012+08:00

Hi all! How has it been? I know, I know... I have not updated this blog for ages. Well, let me briefly recap on the things that has been going on in my life. First of all, I just got back from another business trip, this time in Manila, yesterday afternoon. Ever since my last post, I've been to K.L and then this Philippines trip. Both trips were ok. K.L was pretty enjoyable simply because i didn't have walk around for hours just looking for food that i can eat =) haha.. Language was also a breeze and I had fun just going around K.L by myself taking their LRT and train systems.

It was fun in Manila too, if not for the fact that I was down with body rash, swollen eyes and dry face skin on the 3rd day. I went to see the doctor there and the main suspicion is allergy... the only problem is, we couldn't seem to figure out the cause of the allergy.. hmmm... I'm still having the rash by the way and I visited a doctor this morning =) Anyways, the medical system there is very different from ours. Or should i say, our medical system is different from a lot of medical systems around the world. When you visit the doctor in the Philippines for example, you are only there for the consultation. The doctor would then give you a prescription for your medicine which you would have to puirchase from an External Pharmacy. So meaning that if there were no pharmacy nearby, you would have no choice but to go out of the way to get your medicine or live without it. I learnt it the hard way when the medicine prescribed to me had run out of stock in the only pharmacy in that vicinity. Its only then that I realised how efficient our medical system is here. To think I have always taken it for granted.

Other than that, Manila was fine. Language was not a problem as almost everyone speaks English there. And once again, I blended into the crowd. Everyone thought that I was a local. They kept speaking to me in Tagalog and I always get amused by that. It seems that I can go anywhere in southeast asia and blend in easily with the local crowd. haha. I also met up with my dad's friends in Manila who were nice enough to play host to me. They took me out and brought me around. Really great bunch of people! =)

Fellow exhibitors turned friends =)

Robert

Sonny, Lynn and husband (Dad's friends)

Lynn and her husband

A local dessert/ice-cream in the Philippines. Its called "Halo-Halo". Simply Mouth Watering!

Another version of "Halo-Halo"

Jose Rizal, The Philippines National Hero

Rizal and Rizal ;)

Jose Rizal's Monument

Last September, I went for the F1 race with my sis. My dad managed to get free tickets for himself. It included the practice race, qualifying race and also the actual race itself. Well, my dad exchanged the qualifying race ticket with his friend for another practice race ticket so that I could go down with my sister. Even though it was only a practice race, the atmosphere was undoubtedly F1!! haha.. It was brilliant! I felt like a kid again at the race, with all that whizzing sounds of the F1 cars... The roars of the engines was definately louder than what I expected. It sounds and feels so different than watching it on tv. I would definately encourage anyone with the means to just experience it once in their lifetimes... its definately worth it!!

F1!!

Tickets

Crowd at the start of the practice race

The cars were too fast for my outdated camera model
that it simply turns out as flashes =(

That was how close we were to the track!

On a sadder note, My beloved Grandmother passed away on the 13th of October. She was battling with cancer and many other illnesses. I have many fond memories of her, and I will really miss her. I still think of her every now and then, how I used to stay with her and my grandfather when I was still a kid. how I used to be doted on by her. how i used to hug her and kiss her whenever i visited her.... I will always have fond memories of her... She will be missed... Love You Grandma...

2008-08-26T21:46:00.006+08:00

Sorry for not blogging for so damn long! Well, I’m not even sure if there are anybody reading this blog of mine so I don't know who I’m saying sorry to. Heh. I’ve been quite busy with work and of course, travelling overseas for my work trips. In fact I just came back from Jakarta again… I had 2 trips to Jakarta this month... same place, same hotel, same venue… and to top it off, I’m all alone! Wow! How fun can that be! Sorry, just needed to vent out my frustrations abit. =) but other than that, all is fine! Oh ya, i tried all kinds of food during my previous trip in Jakarta. Pictures below =)

crispy tahu with cheese and sambal!!

green bean ice kachang!

roti bakar with cheese, chocolate and banana! that's something you don't see in Singapore!

and surprise surprise.... a Singapore presence! OWL brand!! heh.

this is Hendra, a family friend who has never failed to meet me whenever i visited Jakarta. A truly good man.

My life is pretty ok… nothing much happening… the truth is, I can’t really think of what else to write… my mind is a blank =) all I can say is that I am truly and extremely happy with someone in my life right now… even if all else is helpless and a blur, I feel comforted that i have a true friend and more. =D

Well, have a good week again to whoever is reading my blog! Cheers!

2008-06-16T22:17:00.005+08:00

I’m back again… I’m so glad to be back… seriously… Remember I said that I was supposed to go to KL after my Bangkok trip… well, there was a change of plan so my 2nd trip was changed to Bangkok… again… so I was practically in Bangkok for 2 weeks except for the 1 day interval when I came back to Singapore. Bangkok is ok, the weather is hot juz like Singapore…. The traffic is bad also… If you were to come out during their peak periods, you muz be prepared to add at least 1 extra hour to your travel plans… Come to think about it, all the places that I’ve been to so far has had pretty bad traffic… hmmm… it seems that Singapore is still the best place in terms of our roads’ infrastructure… I guess the COE system also does work to some effect considering that it pushes the prices of cars so freaking high up that most people decide to go without it…. Lesser cars on the roads = better traffic =) haha… anyways, the city is pretty happening…. Big shopping centres are everywhere… its definitely comparable to our Orchard… the only thing that amazes me even now is that there are always night bazaar style of shops everywhere… even around the big shopping centres… sometimes they are even selling the same stuff, but at different prices…. And I get really annoyed at the shop holders who will try every means and ways to squeeze every cent out of you… they bring the prices so high up that sometimes I think its ridiculous… thank god I’m not that stupid… haha…

Hard Rock Cafe Bangkok

Traffic in Bangkok

I met someone in Bangkok whom I used to spend a lot of time with…. We used to eat together, sleep together and even bath together…. He’s none other than my army mate Hakim!! Haha… what were you peeps thinking? Hehe… He was there for a holiday with some of his friends and they were staying at the same hotel as me. It was a pleasant surprise to see him there. Nice seeing you again dude!!

Hakim and Friends

Notice I don’t talk bout work even though my main purpose there is to work… haha… I juz don feel like talking bout it cause work is BORING!! Haha.. I rather talk bout other stuff than work =)

With some of the Fellow Exhibitors

I’ve been really happy these past few months… never been happier in my whole life… there has been this one person who has constantly been on my mind… she always makes me smile, she always makes me laugh… She’s always there for me when I’m down…. She never fails to call me and sms me even when I’m overseas…. Her smses and calls were the only things that kept me "alive" when I was alone in a foreign land…. She’s patient with me and my nonsense… And I’m thankful to her for that…. I know they say that nobody is perfect, and I agree with that statement… but to me, she is almost perfect… I’m truly lucky… thank you for being you =)

2008-05-29T22:39:00.004+08:00

I'm back! it has been a crazy past 2 weeks with all the travelling... it was super tiring... anyways, my trips were pretty ok.. for Ho Chi Minh, the only major problem was the language... I couldn't understand them and they couldn't understand me... so you muz be asking now what in the world i was doing there since we can't understand each other right... haha... well, i was wondering the same way too until the interpreter came... she saved the day for me and my company! haha...

Food was another major problem for me too. Being a muslim, I can only take halal food, or food that i feel safe enough to be halal... walking down the streets there i could see all kinds of food with meat that looks a bit... well... unique would be a nice word.... haha... they do eat dog meat from what i heard... in the end i survived only on bread and maggi. hehe...

The roads in Ho Chi Minh are simply terrible! They probably have the worst traffic in the world... It really takes someone with a strong heart to try crossing their roads... I was initially scared too, but i plucked up my courage and started crossing their roads... it was exhilarating!! to be honest, i almost got knocked down a few times while i was there... i'm not exaggerating here... but it was definately an experience! =)

with the interpreter :)

Jakarta was ok too... I had no problems at all with food over there.. but i think i went there at the wrong time... there were so many demonstrations so the exhibition was pretty quiet... i was bored to death there, and it didn't help that i was all alone this time.... the traffic there is pretty bad too... but definately not as bad as the roads in Ho Chi Minh.. there was a big confusion over my ethnicity over there... they kept thinking that i'm Indonesian... and when i explained to them that i'm a Singapore Malay, they said I'm Malaysian instead... i got pretty fed up trying to explain to them that i'm Singaporean so in the end i juz agreed to those who said that i was Malaysian.... haiz... i know lah, i'm such a charming and handsome guy who can pass off as any race or nationality... there was this portugese lady whom i met at the airport and she asked me if i was portugese... haha... i have malay, chinese and indian blood what! =p hehe....

With some of the other Exhibitors in Jakarta

Anyways, throughout both the trips, there was this 1 person who was always on my mind :)

Well, I'll be leaving again next week for Bangkok. and right after that, it will be KL.... another 2 weeks straight of travelling... Cheers peeps! =)

2008-05-11T23:53:00.002+08:00

Leaving tmr morning for Vietnam for my working trip.... will be back on sat, and i'll be off to jakarta on monday again... damn... there goes my vesak day holiday.... and then i'll be off to 2 more trips next month... anyways, i will miss my family... and also a certain someone... that someone knows who she/he is... You will be greatly and terribly missed!! ;) Love ya all!! cheers peeps! =)

2008-05-04T00:51:00.002+08:00

Watched Harold and Kumar latest movie... freaking hilarious!!! its a bloody crappy movie and everything in it is super random as usual but i enjoyed it. But you seriously muz have a strong heart to watch it... hehe... Anyways, I want to watch Ironman!!! I wonder if i'll get to catch it before i leave... hmmm... cheers!! =)

2008-04-27T16:23:00.002+08:00

feeling happy... had a great time yesterday evening =) =)

2008-03-31T23:46:00.005+08:00

feeling abit stressed at work.... and now i'm feeling abit down... i know i shouldn't be feeling this way but i juz am... i think i'm juz selfish... i should be feeling happy instead of sad... i should be more understanding... nothing in this world works out without patience and understanding... so that's exactly what i'm gonna do.... a little more patience and understanding everyday will definately go a long way =) as long as that person is able to do well in whatever that she sets out to do and she's happy... understanding is the key word =) Well, juz a little random thought here. Have a great week peeps! Rock on! Cheers!! =)

2008-03-23T01:00:00.005+08:00

Last Sunday was my cousin’s wedding. In fact, her younger sister had juz gotten married juz a few months ago. So everything was held at the same place although the theme was different. I really take my hats off to my uncle, having had to prepare and execute 2 weddings in the space of a few months. Anyways, the wedding was like the most crowded wedding I have ever seen… well, I guess that is to be expected when the groom and the bride are both teachers… haha! You could see all their students and fellow teachers…. We were stretched to the max… oh yah, I was helping out at the wedding k, so don’t think that I was juz a lazy spectator… haha… it was pretty tiring, but also satisfying to see the whole event going through smoothly =) There were even ice creams for dessert for all the guests, I think that’s a first for me. But there was something missing…. My sister.. Its juz not the same without her… really… Oh wells.. I’m juz glad that she’s really enjoying herself in Ireland… Oh ya, I think I didn’t mention that part. My sis left for Ireland on the 10th. And she was pretty disappointed that she wasn’t able to attend my cousin’s wedding. Don’t worry sis, these pictures are for you! =)

the guestbook

the family, but not all were present =(

ice cream! =)

look at all the smiles! =)

shagged out to the max

I caught a late night movie on thurs with a friend.. it was my first late night movie ever.. haha. we were supposed to watch the movie at vivo, but due to my "fantastic" and "incredible"
knowledge of the singapore road map, we ended up at the cathay instead... i'm so pathetic... haha... but the important thing is, we managed to catch the movie that we set out to watch, which is Step Up 2 =) To be honest, the movie was juz average... but it was watchable =) =)

I also caught the movie, Vantage Point, with akil and liang ping yesterday afternoon.. All I can say is, you need to have a lot of patience to watch this show... it simply recounts the whole story in many different views of the people who were implicated in the terror attack... i had to admit, the storyline was good, but it was pretty torturing for me to watch the repeated scenes over and over again although each time it was from a different person's view.. oh wells... haha..

That's all for the moment! I'm about to fall off my chair writing this entry due to my extreme sleepiness.. haha... take care peeps! =)

2008-03-09T14:52:00.016+08:00

Yesterday was my parent's 24th anniversary.. And my sis, her bf and I have been planning for it for quite a while =) Firstly, we brought them to dinner at Breeks at MS... That wasn't the fun part... It was after the dinner that the surprise really started.. heh. We got them both separate gifts and after the dinner, we left the gifts together with them while we left the area. The idea was to leave them alone for that few minutes =) My sis presented to them cards with instructions. They were supposed to pick up the gifts meant for the other half and present it to him/her. My sis informed me that they teared when they were presented with the cards. Well, juz for your info, we got a handbag and a rose for my mum, and a shirt for my dad =D

So after they were all done, they called us and we went to picked them up.. The next surprise was the Singapore Flyer! We bought for them tickets, yup juz for the 2 of them. We wanted them to spend the 30 mins together in a romantic setting without all their noisy kids =P I could see that they were pleasantly surprised.. I was initially worried because when we were on our way to dinner, we passed the Singapore Flyer and my dad commented that its expensive and that its a waste of money... My mum even said that she would probably get a heart attack if she were to ride on it... but luckily for all of us, they went on the flyer without major incidents. heh.

My beloved parents! =)

My parents looking amused at the size of the ice-cream

The whole family, including Riyan

Mum with the rose

Lazing around while waiting for my parents ;)

All in all, I think it was a success! haha. I really have to thank my sis for doing most of the work. She was the one who got all the gifts and the rose.. all i did was the preparation for the dinner, which isn't a lot of work at all.. and not forgetting Chris/Riyan who accompanied my sis in getting all the gifts for my parents =) Thanks alot sis and Riyan!!

Last Thurs, i went out for dinner with Yush, my sis and Riyan. We went to Swensens at MS.. haha! yes, I know you guys muz be wondering that I'm such a boring guy that I really have no other place to go other than MS.. I think Yush agrees that I'm boring ;) heh.. But I do go to other places ok! Anyways, the dinner was great fun. I picked Yush up first and we met my sis and Riyan directly at MS. I don't know whether Yush enjoyed the dinner, but i sure do hope that she did :) And to be honest, I think i gained weight after that meal. haha! oh wells =) After the dinner, I sent my sis and Riyan off first after which Yush and I went on a driving spree. haha.. We went to my workplace, my primary school, my secondary school and lastly, to her childhood home site. It was fun! =D

Yush and me

My sis and Riyan

The Ice cream! haha!

Group picture! =)

Well, thats all for now. Take care peeps! Cheers! =)

2008-02-28T20:45:00.008+08:00

Last sat was such an eventful day! Not counting work of course... which is such a pain... i mean, who likes working on a sat! haha... well, i drove to work in the morning with my dad's car... and somehow, i managed to get into a minor accident at my workplace... what a great way to start the day... i was so angry at myself for that... was so worried that my dad would kill me... but thankfully, he was understanding... he was mad of course when i told him, who wouldn't... but he knows that these things happen and forgave me... phew! haha... but then again, i'll be paying for the damages... haiz... there goes my next month's pay... but no worries, i juz have to manage my finances better! =)

Then after work i went down to east coast with my colleagues, Devi, Indah and Hendra... we went cycling! haha... We decided to pair up and take the doubles bicycle... i was with devi while indah was with hendra... i had loads of fun even though i think i was the one doing most of the cycling =P haha...

hendra and indah

devi and me!

at bedok jetty =)

Then after the cycling session at east coast, i went home for a quick shower before i went out again. this time i went prawning with Yush, Kel, and his friend Bennie =) Prawning was ok, we only managed to get 5 prawns in total.. haha! but it was definately an experience! in the end, we all went down to macs for our super duper late dinner.. heh... below are some of the photos that we took... there are more, but the dear yushiella doesn't allow me to upload them =( haha! but you look great really! =)

the 4 of us

2 of the prawns we caught =P

yush and bennie

kel and bennie

So that was it, an eventful saturday! =)

Anyways, i went out with yushiella on tues after work.. we caught the movie jumper at vivo.. to be honest, jumper was pretty disappointing... i mean the plot was non-existent and the ending was hanging.. but it wasn't all that bad, i think it's still watchable... haha.. oh wells, at least the company was great! ;) got to meet yush's best friend and her bf... it was such a coincidence that we met.. I was initially hesistant, but my worries were unfounded. haha. i had great fun juz chatting with them =)

Anyways, that was a night i probably would not forget for a long time.. hehe... Oh wells peeps, that's all for today! =D cheers!

2008-02-11T21:16:00.001+08:00

CNY at my chinese step aunt and uncle's place =) Too bad I don't have any pictures of the both of them. They simply refused to take any pictures with us =(

with my sis, bro and cousins =)

the ladies of the day =)

a snap shot of my step uncle. heh

Last night I went for my cousin's wedding dinner at Muthu's Curry at race course road. It was a very simple yet very tastefully done wedding dinner =)

my family with the newly weds
my cousin is the bride by the way :)

the big family from my mum's side. but too bad
not everyone was in the pic

Well, I'm simply too lazy to write anything more.. so take care peeps! haha. Cheers!

2008-02-07T23:24:00.000+08:00

Went out with a friend yesterday evening for dinner at seoul garden at marina square. Well, it was a treat from her. hehe.. It was supposedly my "belated birthday" treat! haha.. Thanks alot! I really appreciate it! =) Anyways, that was my first time ever at seoul garden.... yup, its true... yea, you can all go ahead and laugh at me... all of you muz probably be thinking that i'm an alien or something.. haha... so throughout the entire meal, she had to guide me with the whole process of getting and cooking the food... heh... thanks once again! haha...

After the meal, we walked down to esplanade and then walked on towards boat quay as we thought that a walk would help to ease the bloated feeling after our heavy meal... =)
As we walked, we were surprised to see a huge carnival like event happening at esplanade park.. it was like a 2nd chinatown.... it was full of chinese nationals who probably couldn't go back to China for the new year.... now, i'm not being racist or anything here, but i think they are extremely rowdy and rough... there was barely enough space for me and my friend to move through.... i was quite worried for her as well as the crowd was pushing and shoving everybody in their path... all i could do was try to shield her from the crowd as we made our way through... haiz, sometimes i juz wonder whether its in their culture or are they simply ignorant of the world around them... oh wells, no use getting mad over such things. what matters is that nobody got hurt =)

the crazy crowd at esplanade park

anyways, after all the walking, we drove to ntu where we got lost for awhile.. ok ok... I got lost for awhile... haha... yea, i'm still not used to the roads in singapore yet.. But it was all in the name of exploration and fun! hehe.. Well, I would like to say this once again, Thank you so much for the treat!! I really appreciate it! Cheers peeps!

2008-02-07T21:57:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry....

2008-01-29T20:10:00.000+08:00

Guess what! I passed my TP this morning!! woo hoo!! yea yea, it feels great! haha... I was so nervous that i actually dreamt bout it for 2 nights running.. But it all turned out fine this morning! i'm so so relieved that its over! Now its beng's turn this friday.. come on man, you can do it too!

Met up with my ex army mates last sat at the Arena for NUS V Bash party... Halim was one of the organisers and he invited us down for it... the bash was alright, nothing fantastic.... it was after the event ended that the fun really started! haha... It was great meeting up with all of them once again after so long.. People like Alvin, Sylvester, Hakim, Halim, Pong and Firdaus... When Halim saw me, he hugged me so tight that i thought i was going to suffocate... haha... yea dude, i miss you too =) Damn, that sounds so gay! Oh man, who cares! I miss all of you guys!! haha.

From left - Hakim, Me, Syahmi, Halim and Alvin

Halim!!

From left - Alvin, Pong, Me, Syahmi and Firdaus

With the cute and adorable Alvin!

Ex Raven 1 Commanders. The best there ever was! =)

2008-01-20T16:02:00.000+08:00

this morning i did something which i never thought i would do.... i woke up at 8, left home at 9 and then headed out to the west... while at the west, i did something for her after which i went straight home... yea, i went all the way there on a sunday morning juz to give her a little surprise... all these without even seeing her face... i guess its true when they say that love makes you do crazy things....
i read one of alvin's recent post in which he wrote that love is about sacrificing without complaints or expecting returns, to make someone else happier... i guess it really struck me there and then when i read it... now, i do feel happy when i'm able to make her happy, juz like this morning... i wasn't expecting anything at all... i juz wanted to make her smile... I'm not saying that i've finally found the true meaning of love, i don't think anyone ever will.... i juz understand it a little bit more today... But i still do miss her, that i cannot deny... i think of her all the time.... well, sorry if i'm boring you with all this talk. Have a good sunday =)

missing her still....

2008-01-13T00:48:00.000+08:00

i miss her embrace... i miss her hugs... i miss her touch.... i miss her kiss.... i miss holding her hands... i miss it when she lays her head on my shoulder.... i miss it when she gives me surprise kisses on the cheeks.... i juz miss everything bout her.... but most of all, i miss being with her and spending time with her....

Thanks for everything that you've done for me.... for all those times that you spent with me.... for keeping me company.... it was the best time of my entire life, its true.... you made me realise how much a person can care so much for another person.... cause i did and still do, i care for you so much.... you taught me how to love... never did i realise how much you meant to me till that fateful day.... i juz want you to be happy.... i can't believe i'm actually crying writing this, but i don care anymore.... whatever it is, i juz want to let you know that i'll always be here for you....
thanks once again for everything.... i miss you....

Eva Cassidy - Time after Time

Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,
And think of you
Turning in circles confusion
Is nothing new
Flashback to warm nights
Almost left behind
Suitcase of memories,
Time after

Sometimes you picture me
I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me, I can't hear
What you have said
And you say go slow
I fall behind
The second hand unwinds

Chorus:
If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time
Time after time

After your picture fades and darkness has
Turned to grey
Watching through windows I’m wondering
If you’re OK
And you say go slow
I fall behind
The drum beats out of time

Chorus

2008-01-06T18:37:00.000+08:00

pictures of us together..... i miss her so much..... sometimes i wonder if i'm juz being stupid.... but my sis says, i'm only human....

I really miss her.....

2007-12-09T14:53:00.000+08:00

sorry for making some of you peeps worried by my previous posts. I'm fine now. She poured her heart out to me last night, and i'm seriously thankful to her for that... although i am a little disappointed at some of the things that she said, at least i know where i stand at this point of time. More time and patience is needed, and that is what i'm giving her. That guy is still somewhere in the picture, but i'm not gonna bother too much about it.. what's more important is how she views me. if only she knows how much she means to me right now....

2007-11-27T12:19:00.000+08:00

I'm worried and scared.... and i don't know why i'm feeling that way.. the very fact that she went to see him yesterday evening probably meant something. She told me he wanted to get back together. Deep in my heart, i want to know all the details, what she said to him and vice versa. But yet, i don't want to probe. Because i believe in the thought that if she wants to tell me, she will tell me. I don't believe in forcing... My mind is in a twirl... filled with so many thoughts, its frightening... I've always been praying... praying for her and for us, if there is an "us" in the first place....

sorry if my past few posts has been really "emo"... heck, i don't even know why and who i'm saying sorry to...

2007-11-26T20:53:00.000+08:00

i'm so so worried right now... i juz can't help it... i'm praying hard that she's ok... i really hate this feeling...

2007-11-19T20:20:00.000+08:00

what does it mean when a girl rests her head on your shoulder when she says she's tired, holds your hand when you walk together and then gives you a peck on the cheek after you send her home.... i really don't know what i am to her right now... confused? yes i am...

2007-11-11T13:14:00.000+08:00

something's happening in my life now.... Its a bit weird cause i've never been in this situation before.... at first i was confused.... but now i think i finally know what i'm feeling.... especially after last evening.... but i don't know if she feels the same way.... yes, she may have said that she has some feelings for me and that she's confused.... but there's something in her past that is holding her back... i'm so freaking unsure now... am i juz a rebound case or is there something more to it... i guess only time will tell...

2007-10-29T20:28:00.000+08:00

back again.... after a long absence.... well, i'll try to update a bit on my life.... coming almost to 3 months on this job. doing pretty ok, not too bad.... but still have about 3 more months to go before my confirmation.... anything can happen till then but i'll juz do my best =)

went to Cherating Kuantan last 2 fridays ago with all the malay colleagues. to be honest, i was a bit hesitant to go on the trip.. i didn't really mix around with them and was uneasy at the thought of spending 3 days together with relatively unknown people... but my doubts were unfounded... I had a blast with this group.. had fun with them. crazy bunch of peeps... especially the 2 guys that i shared my room with, keyzan and zack... haha.. you can say that i bonded quite abit with them and also the rest of the "singles" in the group... most of them girls lah ;) haha... but don't worry, being the innocent guy that i am, i kept my distance from them.... heh...

with my roomies

kak feza!

told you i "kept myself away" from the girls... haha

the whole group!

work is stressful as usual.... calling up and emailing exhibition organisers can be such a pain in the arse... some of them can be so ridiculously difficult to work with that i feel like whacking them sometimes.... although i know i can't do that.... cause its not professional and some of them are simply too far away for me to whack... imagine thailand, vietnam etc... haha... we are still some way off our target... and the clock is ticking down always.... but its a great experience for me, doing something that i've never done or learnt before. thats always good, learning something new. my only worry is whether i am able to perform and meet up to people's expectation.... cause sometimes i juz feel that people expect abit too much of me... wrong, i think most of the time.... many people think too highly of me... and i don't know why... i'm juz a normal dude trying to survive, trying to be accepted.... but they think i'm some kind of fantastic worker, able to perform miracles.... and i'm always afraid if i fail, that these people will be extremely disappointed.... oh wells....

2007-10-12T21:38:00.000+08:00

am totally stressed out now.... suddenly i'm now way deep into the marketing dept stuff... due to the sudden departure of the previous marketing guys, my manager and myself have had to fill in the void... bloody hell... i juz can't stop thinking bout work... i even dreamt of work during my sleep... been making phone calls non stop to organisers based in countries such as Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia and even Hong Kong for the past week... staying back late when everyone else has left almost every single day.... and yet i still don't see the results coming... there are a few deals here and there but mostly its been rejections or lots of follow up....
today i got totally pissed off with this thai lady who had promised me previously in our teleconversation... then juz when i was about to go home for the final "break fast" with my family, she sent an email over saying that she had second thoughts.... wth... totally spoiled my mood... had to stay back yet again juz to call her and to find out her concerns..... in the end i got home late.... it really looks bleak from where i see it... well, i can only hope and pray for the best....

I read one of the papers today... one article which caught my eye was the one where the parents of some school are complaining about the fact that their kids were performing badly in maths.... and who do they blame? the maths teacher of course.... definately it had to be the teacher... who else could it be? even though their child might be slow, the fault is definately with the teacher... even if the child is lazy, of course the teacher muz be blamed.... why can't these bloody people juz grow up.. even if the fault lies with them or their own child, they will always put the blame on others... its really sad to see this happening in our society....
where teachers used to command huge amounts of respect, now they are blamed for things that are not even in their control.... these people are the ones who shape the future of our country.... they take shit from everyone and still they continue doing what they do, day in and day out.... what more can you ask for from them?
i honestly can understand what some of these parents are feeling... they want the best for their child and they are worried.... but putting the blame on the teacher by saying that she/he did not put in more effort in a particular section is ridiculous.... I used to fail my maths all the time from sec 1 all the way to sec 4... it was not for a lack of effort from my teachers... i was simply too weak in it.... in fact my teachers always put in the extra effort to try to push me.... well, their efforts was not in vain... i got a b3 for my Os.... i know its nothing to some of you but to me its a big deal....
sometimes i juz feel that the more sophisticated our society becomes, the more stupid they become too.... then again, this is juz my opinion... you make your own judgement....

2007-09-29T23:16:00.000+08:00

been quite awhile since i last updated.... the truth is, i've been really lazy.... and i also know that nobody probably reads this blog anyways... haha... been really busy with work these past few weeks.... and i'm always tired after work, i have no idea why.... work's ok... though now i've been "pushed" into doing marketing since the marketing guys left... my main job is still the sales training but i'm juz helping out whenever i'm not doing it.... well actually my manager is the one who's been assigned to the marketing thing.... but seeing how busy and stressed she was, i had no choice but to say yes when she asked me to help... and i tell you its damn hard work.... everything's a blur for me... i guess i really need more time to read up and pick up the pieces that was left by the previous guys... anyways, conducted my first 2 interviews all by myself yesterday.... it was cool... haha... one was for an admin post while the other one was for marketing... i was abit nervous when i did the first one but by the time i did the second one it was pretty ok... i think i'm getting the hang of it =)

my boss offered to send me to the Philippines last week for an exhibition... was totally taken aback when he said that considering that the previous marketing guys were still around then.... in the end i said no... the reason being that i wasn't ready... in fact i still think i'm not ready for these exhibitions... i need more time to learn i guess... and the worse part was that the marketing guys thought that they were still going for the trip... so if i had agreed and then they were to find out bout it, things would definately be awkward between us... they left on pretty bad terms with the company... its really sad that in juz my second month with the company, i had to witness the ugly side of the corporate world.... oh wells, life goes on....

oh yea, my company is hosting some attachment students from bishan ite.... 10 of them, all girls... there's this really cute malay girl that has really caught my attention.... hmmm.... haha... i can't help looking at her whenever she walks past my office.... i think she knows it.... haha... well, i guess that's juz that lah... cheers peeps! =)

2007-09-02T22:10:00.000+08:00

work's been pretty great so far... had my first trainee pass out last week... now with my 2nd trainee.. quite a pretty girl i muz say... haha... so i guess that makes the training pretty enjoyable... heh... but seriously, she looks likes chantel.... when i look at her, i'm reminded of that terror of a girl.... i guess the only drawback is that she smokes.... damn... i have this thing against girls that smoke... they totally turn me off.... oh wells =)

was out the whole weekend.... my sis's bf from ireland is in town so we went out... we brought him to the army open house at pasir laba camp.... i guess he was pretty much impressed with the whole set up... haha... but i think my whole family was pretty annoyed with me as i kept telling them my experiences in that camp... well, what do you expect, i spent 6 months of my life there... haha.... then today we went to the geylang market..... he wanted to experience the feeling of being in a wet market... well to me, i hated it.... the things i do for my sister... hah... feeling totally shagged.... well, i better get to sleep now, or i won't be able to wake up tmr.... cheers peeps!

posing with the Leopard Tank

my bro goofing around with Chris

with the Primus

2007-08-26T18:04:00.000+08:00

i've been on this job for 2 weeks already.... its been cool... was in training for 1 week... so far its been quite fun.... i mean the colleagues and all are pretty ok... the only thing that's troubling me is the atmosphere of the company.... its too damn regimental.... i seriously feel like i'm back in the army... haha... there are cameras everywhere in the office, so you always feel that you're being watched.... its juz weird lah.... and being here for 2 weeks, observing the people around, i somehow get the feeling that something is not right with the boss... hmmm... but then again, i can't prejudge him... i get the feeling that i'll get to know what he's like soon enough.... haha... but other than that, i have no other complains.... i guess i need more time to know the company....

yesterday was a very weird day.... as usual i went out with my small group of friends.... but i kept meeting all my ex colleagues and ex recruits in the army..... it was like everyone of them had decided to hang around marina square.... hmm.... people like jason, alvin and so many of my ex recruits whose names i cannot remember.... haha.... ah, the memories.... i seriously miss them.... oh wells.... cheers!

2007-08-10T22:36:00.000+08:00

spent national day at my grandparents' place... it was cool as usual.... and the whole family wore red... haha.... yea, so we juz chilled out over there till the parade was over on tv... hah....

together with my cool sis and bro =)

i saw a girl in a super short skirt today... and i mean really super short... i was like minding my own business when she walked passed... she was giving this weird smile (yes, she was smiling) and looked a bit uncomfortable as she walked... then i realised why.... it was a totally free show... her undies was showing as the wind blew her super duper short mini skirt up... she kept trying to keep it down but it was no use.... it was so freaking obvious.

i know what you peeps are thinking.. you think i'm a perv who preys on unsuspecting girls with super short skirts... i'm totally not like that ok. i was juz an innocent young guy who juz happened to see what i saw as the girl walked pass.... it was totally unintentional... maybe i did take a peep or 2 after that but hey, that's totally not the point here right! haha... it juz got me thinking.... why do girls subject themselves to such embarrassment? why do they even wear such super short skirts in the first place... i mean i'm fine with short skirts, but not those type where its so freaking short, you wonder why its even there in the first place since it doesn't cover anything.... has our society been degraded to the point where its no longer a must to be juz a little bit decent? notice that i mentioned "a little"... hmmm...

anyways, before i end this post, i juz want to state once again that i did NOT intentionally see what i saw today.... it juz happened that way.... and that i'm a very very innocent YOUNG adult =) cheers!

2007-08-07T23:20:00.000+08:00

went for the interview this afternoon.... and i got the job... yea. haha.. finally... i was first interviewed by this girl, probably by HR... then it was the trainer's turn... and finally the MD... it was ok... i mean, after the interview process that i went through with my previous employer, all other interviews are like super mild... haha.... i'll be starting next mon. well, i do hope everything will turn out fine with this job.. anyways, i'm no longer jobless! haha... cheers peeps!

2007-08-07T00:05:00.000+08:00

my back is better now.... but its still sore... oh wells.... anyways, i've finally been called up for an interview... haha... yea... finally.... its been almost 2 weeks since the last one... i know. whats the big deal. its juz an interview. well, i'm juz plain weird =) I seriously need to get a job. i'm bored to death at home... wells, wish me luck for my interview tmr. cheers!

2007-08-02T16:34:00.000+08:00

i'm in serious pain right now.... can barely walk.... hurt my back yesterday.... or should i say my old injury is back... damn, as if things are not already bad.... well, i went for a run yesterday afternoon.. then right after the run, i felt this slight strain on my back... i knew it wasn't good at all... once i reached home, the pain became unbearable.... i couldn't sit properly, i couldn't bend down and i was walking like a bloody old man.... even lying down on my bed was torturous... could barely sleep last night.... well basically i can't do anything without feeling the pain.... even coughing and sneezing can trigger the pain... arghh.... well, took some painkillers.... the pain has subsided abit.... yes only a bit... i hope and pray that i'll be ok by the weekend.... screw this injury...

2007-07-29T22:51:00.000+08:00

last week was totally uneventful.... i was waiting for calls but nothing materialised... except for AIA calling me down for an interview that is.... damn.... so all i did was glueing (if there's such a word) myself to the tv or computer and occasionally going down for a run.... i was totally bored.... been thinking bout what to do or who to go out with during this agonising wait.... but the problem is that they are either working or schooling.... basket... so i can only wait for the weekends... pathetic right... haha... oh wells, looking forward to this coming week.. hoping for the best.... and hopefully i won't die out of boredom... heh =)

got reconnected with my secondary school malay teacher.... haha.... and its all thanks to the cool liyana whom i met through friendster... it turns out that she's a student there now and she's also being taught by the same malay teacher.... so its cool.... and i suddenly had the urge to go back to my sec school... i started asking around to see whether any of my friends were interested to go back.... but most were working and stuff.... but i finally got a friend who was free.... but alas, it didn't work out.... the timing wasn't convenient for my teacher.... but no worries, there'll be other chances =) cheers peeps!

2007-07-22T00:52:00.000+08:00

ok sly, you want updates right? so i'll give you updates... haha.... well, quite alot has happened since my last update... i've quit my job.... yea... you heard me right.... my last day was wednesday.... it was sad to leave the company, but it had to be done.... to be honest, i'm gonna miss all the wacky yet fantastic bunch of people over there.... i quit simply because of one reason... i wasn't seeing results from myself.... considering that i've been there for close to a month.... but then again, the things that i've learnt from this short 1 month has been more than i've learnt in my entire life.... this job opened my eyes to a world that i've never seen before.... so thanks to all those who has been helping me and training me.... and i'm sorry for being the disappointment that i was.... anyways, i'm jobless once again.... haha.... onwards now! looking forward to the future!

akil has left for india.... he would be back on the 31st.... kim would most prob be going to the states in the next few weeks..... its going to be sad seeing him leave.... damn, i don have that many good friends and now 1 of them is leaving.... its really really sad... well, i guess we have to chase our dreams even if it means leaving your friends and family behind.... well, i wish you the best of luck dude... you'll do good...

2007-07-08T14:31:00.000+08:00

went for the company's cohesion cum picnic yesterday at east coast.... and it was a blast! i remember all the outings that i've been to together with friends or classmates in the past which i thought was great.... but after yesterday's picnic, all those outings in the past were juz like crap... haha.... not that there was anything fancy bout the outing... there were the usual games and food.... but the difference is, it was very well organised... the games were fun yet simple... the most important thing of all was that everyone took part with great enthusiasm.... the bosses were also involved in the games.. even newbies like me were treated as if we had been there for months.... haha... seriously, it simply shows that when you have a fantastic bunch of people together, everything you do will be fun!

with some of my colleagues, but the guy behind is blocked... haha...

i read one of sly's post which mentioned that he was having this infatuation with a girl at his workplace... and i guess its understandable that he's probably a bit confused being new and all at the company... i think i can understand what he's going through.... cause the truth is, i am having this teeny weeny little crush on this girl at my workplace myself =) haha.... i guess it had to do with the fact that i spent one whole day with her on my first outfield assignment... and perhaps, it also had to do with the fact that i've had mininal contact with girls for the past 2 years.. haha... sounds pretty pathetic actually... but i'm keeping my distance, knowing that whatever i'm feeling now is probably juz some temporary hormonal surge which will probably go back down to normal levels pretty soon.. also, i know that if i make any stupid move now, it will probably cause irreversible damage taking the fact that she's my senior... haha... yea, she may be younger than me but she's definately my senior... its all thanks to that wonderful thing you call ns... haha... so yea, i'm keeping my distance.... cause if its meant to be, then its meant to be =) so sly, if you're reading this, we're both pretty much in the same boat... but let's not sink together, we should strive to stay afloat and move onwards! haha... cheers peeps!

2007-07-05T21:50:00.000+08:00

yea.... its been about a week since i've started work at this marketing and advertising company.... its been cool so far though i'm not really sure if i want to continue.... don get me wrong, the people there are brilliant.... they are so friendly, its scary... haha... the atmosphere in the office is simply out of the world.... everyone's always smiling, laughing and there is absolutely no bitching.... if you juz step into the office, you wouldn't know who the bosses are simply because they are so on the ground.. they are always interacting with us and encouraging us on.... i simply love the atmosphere.... and it doesn't help that there are so many cute girls in the office and in my team as well! haha.... from being in a male dominated field in the army, suddenly i'm surrounded by so many girls.... its very difficult to adapt, but i won't complain too much.... hah...

so why am i thinking of quitting? well, i'm not sure if its the kind of job that i can do well in.... what my department is doing is direct sales and marketing for a bank..... yea.... and most of you probably know that its not easy doing direct marketing..... especially for a cockster like me.... haha.... the hours are also damn long.... i've been reaching home around 9pm for the past few days.... and we start at 815 every morning... to make it worse, the attire is corporate... you can juz imagine me wearing a shirt and tie for the past few days.... totally not used to it.... seriously, i juz can't bear to leave this great place..... but i'm so unsure of my abilities in this field.... dilemma, dilemma..... i guess i'll juz give it a try for maybe one more week to see how things work out.... that's juz me, being indecisive once again....

2007-06-28T23:02:00.000+08:00

surprise surprise.... they called me today asking me to go back tmr morning for a "trial and orientation".... hmmm.... let's juz see how it goes....

2007-06-27T23:00:00.000+08:00

i'm sure you muz be wondering how my interview went... well let's juz say that it was quite a torture.... i went for 2 interviews today.... the first one went surprisingly well.... i was with 2 other guys in the room and the lady juz interviewed us one by one..... one of the guys is a degree holder by the way..... at the end of the interview which took bout 30 mins, she asked me to stay back as the rest went off.. she then told me that i've been shortlisted for the 2nd round of interviews and wanted me to come back at 3 for it.... so i dutifully came back at 3 not knowing the torture that i was about to go through..... i did say that the first interview was quite ok... well i guess that was juz the calm before the storm.... haha....

there were 6 of us.... 3 guys and 3 girls.... the first thing that we did was to watch a video of the company.... it was pretty much a bore.... and it didn't help that i juz had a heavy lunch (stupid rizal!)... i was fighting to keep my eyes open throughout the video.... after the video ended, the guys and girls were separated into different rooms (damn!) for the interview.... my group was interviewed by the big boss, the managing director..... nice.... i think i was the guy with the least experience and lowest qualification.... one was a degree holder and the other had a few years of working experience..... cool.... the first thing that he made us do was to do a presentation on different types of commercial products and plans.... i was given some charity organisation that needed funds...... he made us present to him as to how we would present the product to the customer.... to be honest, that was not a problem as i had done this many times..... it was the things that we did after that.... he asked us so many questions and made us do so many mini "projects" that i thought i was gonna die....

after the interview ended, i looked at my watch and realised that it was already 5.45.... woah... i juz had an interview that lasted bout 2 and a half hours..... 2 and a half hours in a room with the MD.... i still cannot believe that i manage to go through that.... damn, poly never prepared me for anything like that..... haha... anyways, they said they will call me if i'm selected over the next few days..... but somehow i'm not really hopeful.... don feel that confident..... oh wells, it was a learning experience.... that's something i have never learnt from poly... heh....

oh yea, akil did a performance at the esplanade by the waterfront last fri.... it was way cool.... haha... i finally got to see him perform.... eh man, i'm still waiting for the day you get your grammys... hah... cheers peeps!

the cool dude

2007-06-26T15:01:00.000+08:00

the travel plans are off..... feeling damn disappointed..... waited for so long and this is the result.... thanks alot guys.....

anyways, i finally got called up for an interview tmr.... its for an advertising and marketing company.... yea, i know you guys muz probably be asking why i applied for this job since its not related to my diploma.... true, its TOTALLY not related to my dip.... haha.... i guess i juz want to try other things.... ok ok.... the honest truth is that i'm not exactly interested in engineering anymore.... cannot imagine myself working like that..... so why did i study the course in the first place? well, let me think for a moment so i can come up with a reasonable excuse.... hmmm.... i admit, i might have made a mistake in choosing my course.... i remember i had juz quit jc, and that day was the last day of the appeals for poly.... my mind was in a total disarray.... there were so many choices, i didn't know what to choose.... and so i did what anybody else would do.... i called up my uncle who had studied in nyp before (shouldn't have done that)..... he had studied my course before and so he recommended it to me.... and i applied for it... the rest is history.... i'm not blaming him, its not his fault, i'm juz blaming myself for not doing any research on the courses in the polys before i went down to apply considering that i had so much time playing (yes, you heard me right) in jc during the time i was there..... oh wells, what's done is done.... its time to look forward now.... and the next important thing is the interview tmr.... damn.... feeling quite nervous actually..... i guess i'll get in when i'll get in.... haha.... cheers peeps!

2007-06-04T00:51:00.000+08:00

was cooped up at home for the past week.... all because i was down with high fever... it juz wouldn't go down.... initially, i didn't want to see the doctor but was forced to in the end by my parents... juz like a kid.... haha... they were worried that i was infected with the dengue virus considering the dengue situation is on the rise.... well, i'm fine now =)

i think most of you must be wondering, why am i still not looking for a permanent job yet. well, simply because i'm juz plain lazy. haha... juz kidding.... actually the reason that i've not taken up any perm jobs yet is simply because i'm still waiting for my other 4 buddies to finish their ns "careers" so that we can finally go on a post ns overseas trip that we've all talked about ever since we started serving our great nation.... and no, i'm not talking bout tekong here.... where exactly are we going? well, we've discussed that millions of times and the names of the places have been varied.... from the oil rich nation of the Emirates, not the arsenal stadium or the airline but the UAE, to the great continent of Australia..... hundreds of places have cropped up at some point in our discussion.... but in the end, we manage to come to the agreement that we were to visit the wonderful city of taipei.... but now, even that agreement seems to be in jeopardy.... there are some problems with the arrangements and it seems it may not be taipei at all.... hmmm.... heck, i don even know if we are still going for a trip damn it..... so guys, i seriously hope you guys can finally give me a confirmation soon.... i think i'm going crazy not doing anything at all.... not to mention that i'm going broke soon too... oh wells...

then again, all that i've blabbered on top may juz be fictional makings of my brilliant mind trying to come up with excuses of my worthless existence.... or maybe, juz maybe.... i'm juz plain lazy =) cheers peeps, whoever you may be....

2007-05-08T15:14:00.000+08:00

got my pink ic yesterday... almost forgot how it looks like... haha... as i left tekong yesterday, taking the ferry for the last time, i felt a tinge of sadness.... it was then that i realised that i was feeling that way not because i was leaving NS, but it was more the leaving of the friends that i've made.... for the past 1 year, we did almost everything together.. we slept together, ate together, bath together (as gay as that sounds), rolled on the mud together, laugh together and at each other, got fcuked together..... all those memories.... its the bond that we shared.... it was special.... i juz couldn't bear to leave them.... well, like what my fellow colleague said, nothing lasts forever.... when i first entered the army, i remember people saying that it will change boys into men.... i was doubtful.... but when i left my camp yesterday, i took a good look at myself.... i've changed a lot.... i may not be the "man" that advertisements claims we would be, but i'm definately a better person.... this necessary evil that they call NS has given me bittersweet memories.... and i'm glad i went through it the way that i have.... well, it was fun while it lasted.... thank you peeps for coming into my life and making my stay in raven a memorable one... especially people like sly, hafiz, syahmi, faizal, alvin, fahmie, pq, sheng rong.... you guys rock!! cheers dudes!

this chapter of my life is now closed..... and yet another new chapter begins....

2007-05-06T23:43:00.000+08:00

tmr is the big day.... the day all nsfs dream about.... my time is here.

2007-04-26T13:26:00.000+08:00

monday was my mum's birthday.... so my sis and i brought the whole family to breeks at marina square for dinner... the cool part about it was one of the staff there somehow realised that it was my mum's birthday and in the middle of our dinner, all the staff came out and started singing the birthday song for my mum... haha... they presented to her a brownie with ice-cream with a lighted candle... way cool... i've not seen her that happy in a long while... juz a simple action can do wonders.... but sadly, many of us juz don't realised it.... we do not appreciate the things around us....

11 more days to ord.... yea, freedom.... i can smell it.... its finally coming.... but why do i feel worried and.... a bit sad.... i'm weird, i know....

2007-04-17T11:49:00.000+08:00

another batch of recruits are in... but i won really be taking them cause i'll be clearing my offs and leaves... haha... was in camp for the past week due to the confinement period. got back juz last night. the start of my clearance... woo hoo... hah... finally got promoted to 2nd sergeant.... but then again, it doesn't really matter now.... they're giving it to me only now when i have about a month left to serve.... wth... oh never mind....

the past week was supposed to be a relaxing week for me.... but no.... due to me being posted to a new platoon, which is totally in a mess due to a certain somebody, i was forced to work hard with the rest of my section commanders.... i'm no longer a platoon sergeant and yet i felt as if the burden of the whole platoon was on me.... on one hand i wanted to slack, but on the other i felt guilty if i didn't do anything to help clean the mess. in fact, i'm still feeling a bit guilty for leaving the platoon for my offs and leaves yesterday.... sigh... what is the right thing to do? this is also part of the reason why i decided to go back this fri and the next.. why can't that guy juz wake up....

2007-04-01T14:29:00.000+08:00

have not been going back to camp much except for the occasional duty here and there... so what have i been doing so far... running, swimming, going to the gym, going out with my close friends.... yea, that's bout it... now, THIS is the life.... haha.... but its all ending soon.... the new intake is coming in soon... 10 of april to be exact... but i don really care anymore.... 1 more month to ord!! woo hoo!! yea!!
i think my old back injury is coming back again... which is not good at all...

2007-03-15T14:30:00.000+08:00

another batch of recruits has passed out.... less than 2 months to go for me :) their passing out parade on tues was a wet one... haha... yea, it was raining quite heavily.... but the parade still went on... with me in it.... i was arrowed to be the contingent sergeant major for this parade... i was totally wet at the end of the parade... not to mention the 2 shades of colour that i have on my skin now due to the numerous rehearsals that i've been through under the hot sun.... well, i don't really feel much for this batch of recruits.... i guess my 6 weeks absence due to my ps course had something to do with it.... also, this batch has been one of the most troublesome and problematic batches ever.... its sad to say that but its the truth.... anyways, its over.... its time to move on.... my last parade, my last 24km route march, probably my last field camp.... my time is near... i can feel it, i can smell it.... ORD LOH!!! haha...

went out with my sis yesterday.... its been ages since i've gone out with her.... i know some of you might be surprised, but the fact is, i'm pretty close to my sister.... we're more like friends whenever we go out... haha.... i'm close to my whole family... i love them :) my friends have always wondered how i can get along with my family so well.... but its juz the way it is.... we've been through tough times together and i admit that i didn't treat them as well before..... i was also a rebellious teenager once, juz wanting to have fun and not bothering bout my family, not knowing how worried my parents were since i was their first child.... yes, i was rebellious but compared to other rebellious teens, my rebellious streak was considered mild... haha... anyways that's not the point.... it was when something happened to my family that i realised how precious family ties are... my sis was growing up, my bro still an innocent little kid, my mum was diagnosed with a heart condition, and a pretty bad financial situation forced me to grow up.... i saw my dad slogging it out juz for the family.... for once, i managed to look at the big picture.... but it was the strong family ties that got us through.... i thank god for blessing me with a wonderful family.... i love them all.... oh man, i got carried away there.... haha.... was supposed to write bout the outing with my sister.. heh.... yea, first we went to sim lim as i wanted to get a memory card for my new phone.... YES! I GOT A NEW PHONE!!! haha... samsung ultra edition 13.8, the Z720, in black :-) after that we went to vivocity to catch "the pursuit of happyness".... yes, the happiness is spelt with a "y" instead of an "i".... a brilliant and touching movie.... i think Will Smith is one of the most talented actors ever.... after the movie we juz chilled out at Pacific Coffee where we juz talked and updated one another on each others' lives.... it was cool... a sister to brother chat...

by the way, the photos above except for the last one was taken by my NEW phone's 3 megapixel camera... haha... yea...

i juz have to say this... i caught 300 last week with the gang and it was simply brilliant..... its definately one of the best movies that i've ever seen.... its gory yet classy.... i'll catch it again anytime :) cheers peeps!

2007-03-04T14:52:00.000+08:00

i saw someone nearly got hit by an incoming train.... i'm still reeling from the shock.... it happened early this afternoon. i was at Marsiling mrt station waiting for the train when i saw this guy.... he looked drunk from the way he was walking and swaying about on the platform... naturally i walked away from him towards the centre.... then when i turned back, i saw him at the edge of the platform looking as if he was picking something from the floor and fall onto the tracks.... and as if that wasn't bad enough, the train was already in sight, juz about a hundred metres away.... many froze and some screamed.... i don't know what came over me but i started running towards him and juz shouting and cursing at him asking him to get out of the train's way.... it was crazy... somehow, that guy managed to get to the side juz as the train passed by.... i swore i could see his hair touch the side front of the train... it was that close.... i was absolutely petrified... i stood on the platform for a few mins, juz staring blankly, and trembling slightly..... i uttered some short prayers before finally coming to my senses.... the whole incident caused some delay in the train system as they got the guy out and probably handed him over to the police or something..... i was so shocked that i didn't realised that i had boarded the wrong train.... it was not until i reached bukit gombak that i saw i was going in the wrong direction... oh man.... i'm juz glad that i did not witness a death......

2007-02-20T14:22:00.000+08:00

yea, back in tekong.... same old routine... haha.... juz waiting for that special day in May, when i'll finally be getting my lovely pink ic... less than 3 months to go... yea.... heh....
was really surprised that the recruits remembered me considering that i was with them for bout a week or so.... can't say the same for me.... i couldn't recognise their faces at all.... haha....

been thinking bout my future.... what i'll be doing after this..... its pretty scary thinking bout it.... to think that a lot of my female friends are already in secured jobs or in uni studying their brains out, if there's such a phrase, and i'm still stuck here at ground zero..... i'm looking at a few options, but whether or not it will work out is another question....

2007-02-04T23:14:00.000+08:00

finally passed out from ASTW last fri! woo hoo! fantastic feeling.... the feeling of freedom... haha... well, its not total freedom.... that will only come in 3 months time... yea!! will be booking back in to tekong tmr night... never thought i would be so happy to go back there... the recruits are so dead... haha...
oh yea, singapore juz won the asean cup again!! to be honest, i thought they were going to lose by the way they were playing, which at times i thought was rubbish, but i guess the good thing bout this team is that they never give up.... thats good to see.... but credit to the thais for playing some wonderful football.... its juz the way it is... thats football... so, congrats to singapore!! champions once again!! cheers!!
jasmine is leaving this week to Australia for her studies.... wells, gonna miss her blurness and all... haha... juz kidding... seriously going to miss her.... she's been a great friend.. i wish her all the best for her studies!! rock on gal!

2007-01-22T21:51:00.000+08:00

got 4 days mc.... doc says its a skin infection.... but mc or no mc, i'll still have to book in tmr.... i have to, i can't afford to fail this course at this stage.... i'll juz have to endure.... what a great birthday....

2007-01-21T20:14:00.000+08:00

am in camp right now... doing my wos duty on a bloody sunday.... great.... luckily there's a computer and a tv in the office here....
ops phase is really crazy.... this coming week will be even more crazy.... exercise after exercise... then i'll be going to tekong again for one final exercise.... yea, this is a make or break week.... hopefully i'll make it.... after all that i've been through....
it was a totally bad day yesterday for me.... was supposed to book out at 11.... but cause i failed a test, actually a whole group of us did, i had to stay back for a retest.... it ended around 1230.... and after that, my name was called out to stay back again for a briefing for one of the exercise next week.... brilliant... by the time everything ended, it was almost 2.... and as if things were not already bad, juz when i was about to book out, it started raining heavily.... i was totally wet.... was freezing on the train home.... and i had to book in this morning for my duty.... and now, my body is totally covered with rashes.... and i mean my whole body.... i have no idea how it came about... it started last wed and now its really bad.... it hurts.... what a way to spend the days leading up to my birthday....

2007-01-08T20:20:00.000+08:00

its the start of the ops phase for the platoon sergeant course.... the real action begins... i'm so dead.... haha.... i'm so not ready.... never mind, i'll juz persevere.... well, i juz found out that 2 of my weekends will be burned this month... damn.... i have duty on one of the sundays, and the shitty thing is that its my birthday the next day... wth.... then the following week the whole wing will be confined due to our exercise which stretches throughout the weekend.... argghh.... persevere dude, persevere... haha....
14 more days and i'll be 22.... man, i'm old.... hah... cheers peeps!

2007-01-02T17:06:00.000+08:00

happy new year peeps! this is the year of my ord! woo hoo!! haha... 5 more months and i'll be free... finally... anyways, the only obstacle left for me is this platoon sergeant course that i'm currently going through... once that's over, there'll be nothing left to stop me from going through my ccc--> civilian conversion course.... haha...
well, the first week of ps course have been pretty fcuked up.... mostly mentally.... seriously, the feeling is much worst than when i was first entering bmt.... having to go through all those training once again.... and to make it worst, being commanders ourselves, they would expect more of us.... i've already been "aimed" at by the warrant officers in the first week.... totally demoralizing.... i think the whole course now knows me and how cock up i am.... thanks to the warrant officers shouting out my name countless times..... sucks.... never mind, i'll juz endure for another 4 more weeks....

2006-12-25T20:23:00.000+08:00

ps course tmr.... sucks.... the new intake came in last week.... mostly jc dudes.... people always say that jc dudes are damn hard to handle cause they talk a lot but i've always thought it was juz another stereotype.... well, i found out the hard way.... they are damn freaking annoying with all their stupid questions and they always have their "smart" reasons and answers whenever they are in the wrong.... ok, not all of them are like that.... but the majority are.... even my fellow section commanders who themselves are jc dudes agreed with me.... they'll get it from me if they continue with that attitude of theirs when i get back from my ps course in 5 weeks....

oh yea, merry christmas to all those celebrating it. cheers!

onwards to pasir laba!

2006-12-14T18:39:00.000+08:00

finally, the damn parade is over.... practice so much juz for a parade lasting less than 20 mins.... then after the parade there was a christmas party for all the specs at our mess... and again there were "nice" ladies there to entertain us, accompanied with lots of booze.... eileen wee was the emcee, damn she's still as gorgeous as ever... haha... my colleague got so damn freaking drunk during the event.... i've seen and been with drunk people before but he was definately the extreme.... talking gibberish the whole night and refusing to sleep.... had to drag him back to his bunk and force him to sleep.... i wonder why people drink so much if this is the outcome.... i think its juz stupid.... whats the fun of it if you can't even think properly...

once again, the new batch is coming in tmr.... but instead of concentrating on the enlistment tmr, my mind is full of thoughts about the ps course that i'll be going through in a week's time.... sucks... all the cursing and f*cking will start again.... arghh... life's a bitch!

2006-12-10T01:18:00.000+08:00

met up with valerie and calvin yesterday evening at suntec. it was cool meeting them again after so long. i met calvin a few times before during our ns tour but this was the first time in years that i met val.. honestly, i didn't think anyone of us changed that much... i could still recognise them... haha.... the moment that i met calvin, we juz started talking non stop bout our ns life.. haha.. that's the problem with guys i guess.... i think we may have neglected val by doing that... sorry gal! heh...

had change of command rehearsal yesterday morning which lasted till the late afternoon.... a total waste of time.... doing stupid drills for juz a single person.... why can't they juz take over without all the hassle.... why muz they put us through all this stupid shit.... did i mention that we were forced to come back on thursday to clean a few rovers and tonners... we were even reduced to using our bare hands to apply kiwi on the bloody vehicles' tyres.... this juz shows how "great" this organisation is....

2006-12-06T23:27:00.000+08:00

the recs passed out yesterday.... didn't manage to say a proper goodbye to them though... cause i was busy helping out at the graduation parade as an usher.... sad... there were a lot of chicks as usual... haha... and guess who i met while doing my duty... chantel!! haha.... still as short as ever.... heh... she was there for her friend's graduation.... after the parade, she came up to me and we talked for awhile.... and some of my colleagues who saw us actually called me and started asking me about her... wth.... sorry dudes, she's attached... haha....

another batch gone, another new batch coming in.... same old story, different people.... and platoon sergeant course beckons... sucks.... but never mind, 5 more months and it'll all be over :)

2006-12-03T20:58:00.000+08:00

arghh! damn damn frustrated.... i've been selected for the platoon sergeant course late december.... a course which i totally do not want to go through... now i'll have to pack my bags again and move to pasir laba camp for the 2nd time. i honestly don't understand why my OC is sending me. the course will end in early feb and by then the new batch will be about to pop. and then my company will have a lull period of bout a month till another batch comes in april.. i will be clearing my leave by then as my ord date is in early may.... so basically i'll not really be taking any more batch of recruits after this.... so what's the point of sending me to this course if i'll not be of any use to the company... frustrating....

received the best company instructor award from CO last thurs.... i think its a really stupid award.... no real meaning to it.... everyone was juz going through motion.... whatever lah...

lost my voice since thurs due to excessive shouting during the tug of war competition.... and i thought i would be able to rest on fri and sat but no.... my recruits had to give me problems forcing me to shout at them with my almost non existent voice.... now its worse... haha... but then again, i think i sound sexier now.... haha.... cheers peeps!

2006-11-28T22:22:00.000+08:00

i'm on leave tmr.... so that's why i'm at home now... got nominated by my company for the best instructor award for school 2.... yea, thats a real shocker.... hah.. then this morning i went for the interview with the top brass together with these 3 other guys who were nominated from other companies. these 3 other guys were actually very well prepared.... it was as if they were really preparing to slug it out... haha... they were like memorising all the safety procedures and stuff like that while i was simply praying that i would not screw up... i was juz told bout it last night... but well, i did... haha... the moment i stepped into that room, seeing the 5 big shots on the other side of the table, i knew i was doomed.... they were shooting me all sorts of questions, most of which i couldn't really answer.... i was really cursing my oc and pc for putting me in that position.... i felt like a fool.... oh wells, i'm juz glad that its over....

oh yea, akil's back from down under.... haha... he got back last week.... he's looking cool as usual... hah... went out with the guys on sat and caught the movie Tenacious D.... damn funny movie.... crude but funny...

2006-11-19T16:11:00.000+08:00

back from field camp with the new batch of recruits.... they have more or less settled in their environment.... i'm still uncomfortable with my appointment as platoon sergeant.... but what to do... haha....

met leon in tekong the other day.... damn surprised to see him there.... haha.... he's going through recourse bmt.... still the crappy old leon.... then a weird thing happened.... one of my recruit who's gay, suddenly asked me bout leon.... when i asked him why, he said that leon is cute.... wth.... haha... then i smsed leon bout it and he was like totally shocked.... hahaha.... the problem is, he's juz too charming lah... heh...

went out with the cool regina yesterday.... its been like ages since i last met her.... she has really change alot.... she's a lot slimmer and i muz say, she's turning into a pretty gorgeous lady... heh.... went to marina square where we juz walked around window shopping.... well, i mean she was window shopping, i was juz following her... haha.... then went to catch "Step Up" the movie.... after the movie we went to the esplanade where we had a really cool heart to heart talk.... it was really nice having that talk with her.... i missed all the talks we had in sec school and in poly... haha.... yea, she was my classmate in sec school and then we were in the same poly also.... she was one of 2 girls whom i was close with in sec school... haha... oh wells, it was great fun catching up with u... thanks for everything! cheers gal!

2006-11-06T21:46:00.000+08:00

I think I'm gonna be sad, I think it's today, Yeah
The girl that's driving me mad is going away
She's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
but she don't care

She said that living with me is bringing her down, yeah
For she would never be free when I was around
She's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
but she don't care

I don't know why she's riding so high
She ought to think right
She ought to do right by me
Before she gets to saying goodbye
She ought to think right
She ought to do right by me

I think I'm gonna be sad, I think it's today, Yeah
The girl that's driving me mad is going away, yeah, oh
She's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
but she don't care

I don't know why she's riding so high
She ought to think right
She ought to do right by me
Before she gets to saying goodbye
She ought to think right
She ought to do right by me

She said that living with me is bringing her down, yeah
For she would never be free when I was around
She's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
She's got a ticket to ride
but she don't care
My baby don't care
My baby don't care
My baby don't care

2006-11-05T14:26:00.000+08:00

finally back after an almost 2 weeks absence.. hah... has been a very stressful past 2 weeks with me taking on my new appointment as platoon sergeant and also not forgetting that this is one of the worse batch i've ever taken so far.... so many paper work to be done, the constant worries about the poor condition of my platoon stores, working with a perfectionist platoon commander, being constantly pushed by my sergeant major and an OC that doesn't care for his commanders and who nags all the time.... how am i supposed to work in these conditions.... on top of that, i wasn't even sure bout a lot of the things that was supposed to be done, me being new at this.... thankfully i have great section commanders who have helped me a lot... but still, the first few days were terrible.... i have never felt so useless and worthless before in my entire life... it came to the point where i actually juz stood at the corridor outside my bunk on the first night looking into the sky juz wondering what the hell i was doing there.. i juz couldn't sleep peacefully that first night...

my recruits are also giving me problems.... smokers secretly holding on to their cigarettes in bunk when everyone else has declared theirs.... there are mats with tattoos all over their body who are freaking stubborn... they even got into a fight with some chinese bengs from another platoon... wtf.... gave them a piece of my mind... i can only hope the situation will get better...

sent akil off to australia yesterday afternoon.... he was going there for an exercise... way cool... he was pretty nervous at the airport... haha... i understand how he feels... that was also how i felt when i went off to taiwan for training... hah... well, all the best dude! cheers!!

before his flight

2006-10-24T00:57:00.000+08:00

damn sad and disappointed. guess she really hates me...

2006-10-17T22:35:00.000+08:00

have been really slacking this past month.... doing nothing much really juz waiting for the next intake to come in next week... not that i'm complaining though. i'm still doing my runs every other day. doing it either juz before the break fast time or exactly after breaking fast. its the only thing that keeps me really occupied... meeting up with the usual suspects during the weekends juz hanging out.... a very boring life indeed... but all this free time that i've had have given me the opportunity to juz reflect on my life and everything that's been happening.... i think bout all the friends that i've made since primary school, my family, how my dad got so angry at the driver when we got in an road accident.... its funny the things that i think about.... i guess that shows juz how free i am... haha... there are many things that i've regretted doing or not doing, but its better not to dwell on such things.. whats done cannot be undone.... its better to let go... but the real funny thing is, after reflecting on everything, i actually feel very at ease... its weird... a nice kind of weird.... haha... i feel pretty contented... i thank god for the great friends that i've made and for blessing me with such a wonderful family =) cheers peeps, i mean whoever is still reading my blog! hah..

2006-09-29T22:26:00.000+08:00

fasting month has started.... and my company is on lull now... what that means is that we're not handling any recruits for the time being, till the 25th of next month that is =) but then again, due to us being a "lull" company, we have been assigned a lot of "fatigue work".. sucks... like yesterday, where we organised our school's cohesion day.... i think its juz a waste of time.... the highlight of the day was when 4 girls that my oc hired from outside, came to perform a bartop dance item at the mess at night.... man, it was really wild.... i don know what the rest felt, but i think it was a bit too obscene for a "cohesion day" event like this.... but then again, no one seem to mind... haha... that's guys for you...

juz found out that tiffany's in hospital.... gave her a call juz now and she sounded ok... thats good to hear... oh wells, i juz hope that she'll get well soon... she'll probably be up and running like the crazy girl that she is in no time.. hah...
cheers peeps.

2006-09-18T15:25:00.000+08:00

finally finally met up with the cool tiffany yesterday evening. she still looks as gorgeous as ever ;) its been like 1 year plus since i last met her? hmmm.... met up for dinner at marina square.... got updated on each others' life and stuff.... one thing that hasn't changed... she's still damn bitchy.... haha... then while we were talking, we suddenly realised we had the same model of camera... wtf.... damn coincidental.... but luckily the colours are different.... i would have killed myself if it was the same.... after that we went for a movie.... we caught john tucker must die... was afraid that it wouldn't be nice and that she would start bitching bout it since i picked the movie but the movie turned out to be pretty ok.... haha... phew! once the movie was over, she dragged me to the arcade... i can't remember the last time i stepped into one.... i totally sucked in all the games there.... she was like a pro... haha... we then proceeded to play pool before heading home.... and i muz say i was surprised at her skills in pool.... not too bad... hah... i definately enjoyed myself yesterday.... miss those jc days when i would hang out with her and the gang....

some photos we took, there are more clearer ones with her and she promised to send it to me soon

oh yea, i bought for myself a new watch!! haha... yea, i got myself a puma drive watch on sat... cool... it actually cost 215 bucks but i got it for 172 after discount.... but i got nagged bout it by tiffany yesterday after she found out... haha.... yea yea i know.... but its not like i splurge all the time....

fuck! juz got a call.... i've been arrowed for duty from wed all the way to sat... its juz not freaking fair damn it!

2006-09-13T12:35:00.000+08:00

another batch passing out, another bunch of lives moving on to the next phase... never knew that i would feel so attached to them.... its kinda sad to see them gone... from "blur" recruits to pretty confident soldiers... i've seen them through all that.... their first touch of the rifle, field camp, live range, their first "knock it downs".. haha.... the company line feels so empty now without them.... well, i've done my part... they're now on their own in the next phase... i wish them luck.. but i do have one regret... that is not telling my section how proud i am of them... my section was considered the "weakest" section of the platoon... we had the lowest rate of ippt pass, the highest rate of oot and stuff like that.... but what i like about them is that they never gave up.... the odds were against them but they always performed to the best of their abilities.... and i'm very proud of them for that... thanks for being such a great bunch of peeps.. cheers dudes...

2006-09-03T13:14:00.000+08:00

did a 24km route march again on fri.... to be honest, it wasn't as hard as before.. in fact it actually felt easy after the 8km point... hmmm... haha... but still, the body ached like crazy yesterday when i woke up... my 2nd batch of recruits are passing out on tues... time really flies... soon i'll be taking my 3rd batch.... its confirmed now that i will be taking over as platoon sergeant next batch.... actually, i've already taken over.... its juz not official yet... but the recruits have started calling me platoon sergeant, which feels strange to me... juz not used to it i guess....

finally met up with kim last sat... this guy, he hasn't been meeting up with us for a few months.... everytime we asked him out he would say that he didn't want to... i did ask him a few times why he didn't want to come out and he told me that he's juz sick of going out and hanging out with us friends.... somehow i felt that he felt alone and that he would be better off without the world.... that sounds like depression to me.... its funny how normal people like us can sometimes feel like we are all alone when actually there are so many people around us that cares.... but it happens... i've felt that way before myself too.... anyways, i'm juz so glad that he's finally going out with us guys again... it was really great meeting him again... cheers dude!

2006-08-27T19:12:00.000+08:00

woke up freaking early, went down to the padang, ran the army half marathon, got home and slept till 5 and now on the com.... booking in tonight again... what a fantastic way to spend a sunday..

2006-08-20T15:18:00.000+08:00

Finally back again after a few weeks in camp where we had field camp and sit test... a very sucky past few weeks i muz say.... but hey, since when has staying in camp been fun.. heh... been assuming more responsibility ever since i stood in for faizal as the stand in ps for the time being... to be honest, i don know if i'm capable for this job.... i mean sure, there'll be less duty for me and all, but the responsibility is huge.... if anything happens to anyone in the platoon, you'll have to answer for it.... and i don know if i'm ready for that.... crap... and faizal has been telling all the recruits to call me ps... wth.... he's definately playing the pressure game.... haha.... he's a cunning one.... he knows i'm reluctant to be one so he's playing all these mind games.... but then again, anything can happen, thats saf for you... they might juz find someone else to take over faizal.... heh....

my recruits and me =)

together with the twin recruits

i lost everything in my hard disk.... my dad reformatted one hard disk thinking that the other one would be left untouched.... but to my horror, the other hark disk was also affected!! arghh.... everything is gone.... from all my poly project files to all my precious photos... its screwed man.... i feel as if a part of me has been taken away..... my entire life has been erased and now i have to start all over again.... i hate this feeling.... i feel so stupid for not backing up all my files.... stupid me stupid me!!! sigh.....

2006-07-29T17:56:00.000+08:00

shucks... duty tmr... then another week of field camp... i hate this life!!

2006-07-23T23:20:00.000+08:00

i'm dead beat.... was activated for the death of the former minister on thurs night and had been helping out at his wake at his family home and funeral from then till this afternoon.... it was crazy.... got home almost at midnight on fri.. then yesterday i got home at 3am only to wake up 3 hours later as i had to report back to mandai crematorium at 8 this morning.... my group and i were so tired that we even contemplated staying overnight at the crematorium.... imagine a group of bout 7 guys all alone working at that place from 12am till 2 am.... it was kind of creepy... it was an experience though, as we got to see a lot of ministers and big shots in person... and you get to see how damn rich some people can get.... i lost count of the number of maids and cars that they had.... oh well, i took the day off tmr to recover from all the work that i did the past 3 days =)

i juz realised something.... it started when i met jasmine trias last week.... i got all excited and started smsing someone bout me meeting jasmine.... then suddenly juz before i sent the message out, i asked myself.... who was i going to send it to? it suddenly struck me that things are no longer the same between us, and that i had no one to share my excitement with.... in the past, whenever i was excited or sad or juz feeling whiney, i would never think twice bout smsing that person bout it.... but now, i know i can probably never be able to do that again.... its sad how things have come to this.... i can only blame myself.... in the end, i still sent it to the person... and the response was poor like i had expected.... oh wells...

2006-07-16T21:42:00.000+08:00

i got up close with jasmine trias yesterday!! haha... one of my officer asked me to go to this event at expo.. and i agreed since i didn't have anything better to do... i thought my other colleagues were coming as well but in the end, the rest didn't turn up.. so it was juz me and halim... haha... so damn gay.... then i saw a couple of the singapore idol finalists... i was in the toilet when suddenly these 3 guys came barging in with a cameraman in tow... it was jonathan, that joakim guy and also that malay hadi guy i think... imagine, filming in a toilet... i think that's juz crazy.... never mind bout that.... whats important is that i got close to jasmine!! haha.... i got her autograph and even got to take a pic with her! she's hot man.... so sweet looking and all... haha....

me and jasmine!! =) but i look so cock up... damn...

halim's turn!

the autographed picture of jasmine trias!

tmr afternoon i'm going for a psychological test at the military medicine institute which is located at nus.... and i'm taking the morning off so i don have to book in tonight... heh... hmmm... maybe the army thinks i'm crazy and wants to check up on me... haha.... oh wells, i'm not complaining... at least it allows me a chance to get out of camp =)

2006-07-09T00:59:00.000+08:00

all my friends were busy today, either with helping out with the ndp or working.... so basically, i had no one to hang out with... it sucks.... so i took the decision to go swimming straight after i booked out from camp... its been a long time since i went swimming... especially swimming alone... heh... was quite surprised at the number of laps i did today =) there was this girl who came bout an hour after me.... i could swear she was trying to mock me... she was overtaking me at every single lap.... i dunno how many times she overtook me and every single time she would move next to me before she passed me.... it really got me irritated.... i know lah, i'm not that great a swimmer, but you don have to make it so damn obvious what! basket.... there was this one time when we were both resting at the side of the pool, and i think i saw her giving me a smirk.... arghh!

after swimming, i went to catch superman returns... yea alone again.... haha, damn pathetic right.. but it was cool.... the only prob was all the irritating kids who were making a hell of a noise in the cinema... i think its a cool movie... the guy definately reminds me of christopher reeves.... my sis is crazy bout the new guy, saying how he's so damn cute and all... whatever... hah...

my dad juz came back from germany yesterday.... a bit jealous of him.... haha... now he's been to 2 consecutive world cups.... never mind, at least i've been to the previous one in korea. heh...

my dad, 3rd guy from left before the match

view from the stands

2006-07-02T21:49:00.000+08:00

ah, finally that zaki is gone!! that stupid idiotic recruit who's been giving me and the whole company trouble has finally been posted out... and i was the one who sent him to his new unit last friday.... juz like how i fetched him from his "stay" in detention barracks... post out also muz give me trouble.... juz because of him, i had to cancel my off on fri juz to send him to his new unit which is at sembawang camp.... why? because they were scared that he will run off if we let him go off alone.... bloody hell.... juz imagine, travelling from tekong all the way to yishun and then back to tekong... wth.... to make matters worse, i was having a fever.... i felt as if i was going to faint on the train.... bloody bugger.... really ruined my day.... i'm so damn glad that he's no longer around...

it was akil's birthday on wed, and he called up a couple of people for a so called gathering yesterday.... met up with jas and sham in the afternoon and in the evening we met up with our poly buddies... haha... akil's intial plan was actually to treat us all, but what he didn't know was that we had all planned to give him a treat instead.... haha... it was pizza hut at PS with sham and jas in the afternoon, and swensens at crown prince in the evening with the dudes... so i treated him twice.... eh you heard that?! i treated you TWICE ok!!! haha....

the 4 of us

the 3 idiots... haha... juz kidding..

i caught akil by surprise... heh...

went to ubin this morning for my unit's cohesion day.... a total waste of time.... its a sunday morning for goodness sake.... went there, played their version of "the amazing race" which required us to walk and cycle a lot around ubin.... to think i was perspiring on a sunday morning.... wells, the good thing is that all of us have been given a day off tmr!!! cheers to that!! haha...

oh yea, my dad's flying off to germany tonight!! cool! he'll probably be watching the semi final match between germany and italy.... way cool!! damn, i wish i could tag along with him....

to you: i'm sorry if i've made you uneasy and uncomfortable all these while, i never meant for it to be that way.... it juz happened.... these past few weeks, i've juz felt so uneasy as i could feel the discomfort from your side.... i felt like you were pretty cold towards me in all your smses and stuff, unlike before... so i decided to make that call... to clarify things... cause i felt that i was losing you as a friend, something which i really didn't want to happen... but i failed to get through.... i can assure you that all i wanted was to clear the air and try to get this friendship of ours back on track.... and i really hope that things will get back to normal soon juz like you said, cause i juz hate this feeling.... i really do.... i'm sorry once again....

2006-06-24T22:24:00.000+08:00

got a call from the airforce recruitment centre.... yes, they finally called after all these months... asked me to go down for an interview last fri... but i couldn't cause i was on duty.... so the guy said he'll scheduled me for another time.. to be honest, i'm not even sure if i should go for it now.... don know why i'm feeling this way... but then again, it'll be such a waste to give it up now... not many people would have gotten the chance to go this far.... damn it, i'm really really confused....

went out with my family last sun which was fathers' day and also the day i took off from camp... we went to science centre due to the intolerable bugging of my lil bro... heh... it was cool, hanging out with them once again. i juz love my family to bits!

me and my cool sis

with my lil bro and my mum

i got hit on again yesterday.... arggh! i was accompanying my recruits on their reflections trail which brought them to the NEWater plant and changi chapel museum... and during the entire trip, the so called tour guide kept hitting on me.... it was horrible.... and to think he did it in full view of my recruits... damn it...

during the NEWater plant tour, there was this female tour assistant.... she was kind of cute.... haha... and i noticed that she kept looking at me... heh... perhaps she was wondering how come an idiot like me can be a commander... haha.... but i was in uniform and there was nothing i can do cause there's restrictions when we're in it.... but then again, even if i wasn't in uniform, i would probably still not do anything.... haha.... thats how stupid i can be =)

went to MOS again last night after the reflections trail. but before that, we met up to watch silent hill.... a pretty ok movie, but there are some parts which i still do not understand.... hmmm.... haha, blur me.... never mind bout that....

with halim on the dance floor

sly, hafiz, hamzah and me

i think i may have juz lost a good friend.... oh wells..

2006-06-17T22:27:00.000+08:00

back! haha... i took off for tmr cause i was juz too tired of the stupid life in there.... the new batch has been fine though there are a couple of weird characters.... last week, one mentally unstable recruit came up to me and put his head on my shoulder and started crying.... wth.... i was stunned there for a few seconds... then when the other commanders tried approach him and talk to him, he totally ignored them and stuck to me.... i brought him to one corner and talked to him.... and i couldn't understand a single thing that he said.... he was totally incoherent with his words.... and he would say one thing one min, and then say a totally different thing the next.... i was going out of my mind.... it was crazy... being a commander is definately not easy.... you are forced to be instructors, commanders, counsellors, motivators, lifeguards and even clerks when you're in there.... screw up man... noticed i used the word "forced"...

there's a dutch guy in my platoon.... huge looking guy who somehow reminds me of leon of nyp... haha... dunno why though.... cause leon was quite skinny... heh.... then there's a pair of twins who coincidentally are in the same section... what are the odds of that happening... one recruit was also my junior in poly... same course and all that.... hah... so far, they have not been giving me too much trouble... i guess that's the difference between the poly batch and jc batch.... this poly batch doesn't ask too much questions and they do things fast, which i like..... unlike my previous jc batch.... haha... ok ok, i'm not about to start on the jc and poly students thing... haha... both have their positive sides and their negative sides.... i've been to both jc and poly so i roughly know the types of people from both sides....

on thurs, i got poked 3 times by a pretty experienced medic.... and i do mean an experienced medic.... i was having my blood tested and in came this medic... the first 2 tries were unsuccessful and he looked pretty stressed at this point of time... i was cursing and cursing in my heart and i knew that he would not be able to do it the third time also... and juz then, their officer came in and realised the situation that i was in... the medic was screwed by the officer and they got an older medical guy to come in to take my blood... and he was successful at his first attempt... phew! after that, the medic came up to me and apologised... but he still had the cheek to tell me that i was his first failure all these while.. wth... ok, but why me!!! why did i have to be your first failure!! basket... hah...

i didn't realise that your morale can affect your performance so much.... i was in a pretty good mood all these while, doing my job and all.... but then suddenly this morning, all the new specs that has juz came in, plus my batch were called into one of the office by all the platoon sergeants.... i had a bad feeling when i heard bout it... all my fears came true the moment we stepped in... they were telling us all their stupid rules and regulations which i have been briefed before but never really followed cause i juz think its juz damn stupid and unfair.... like how we're are supposed to fall in every morning at 5.30 with the platoon even if we're not the duty instructor that day.... ok, if thats the case, why then did i not see THEM or some of the older specs on some of the days when i fell in at 5.30 every morning for the past week?! bloody double standards.... like how we're not allowed to go back to our bunks when there's no training... so what, am i supposed to stone in my office for 2 to 3 hours looking at the damn bloody wall juz waiting for the next lesson? then HE told us that if we were not happy with what they said, we should sound off to them... yea, do you think we're that stupid? we talk back to you and we'll be blacklisted for the rest of our ns life... after their stupid "briefing", i totally felt demoralised.... couldn't concentrate on my work... that was when i decided to take off for tmr.... juz couldn't take the tension anymore.... screw them and their stupid rules!

2006-06-08T20:15:00.000+08:00

read this in a friend's blog.... decided to post it here.

They will never understand by Sly
they will never understand how it feels to wake up @ 0530hrs everyday for 5.5days/week
they will never understand how it feels to sweat like a pig the moment they wake up
they will never understand how it feels to eat mee goreng/fried rice for BREAKFAST
they will never understand how it feels to be scolded every single day for 5.5days/week
they will never understand how different it is in the inside compared to the outside world
they will never understand why we changed after we went inside
they will never understand

i think it holds true for me also..........

my recruits have finally passed out.... it was a sad atmosphere when they were about to leave.... but then again... they juz wouldn't leave in peace... the buggers!they all ganged up on me on the last evening.... me being the nice guy, went up to their bunk to see how they were doing.... then suddenly they all jumped on me and started putting colgate and powder all over my body.... idiots.... haha.... i was a bloody mess.... arghhh.. i've learnt my lesson, never go up to their bunks on the last 2 nights.... hah...
they also got me a gift.... a pretty stupid gift actually... they all said i looked like the animation version of mr bean so they got me the mr bean teddy bear.... haha.... basket... and they forced me to hold it in my hands in front of the whole platoon juz before they booked out....

the bear they gave me

the night before, i went up to my colleague's section.... and i was shocked to find out that one of the recruits there was gay... it wasn't the fact that he was gay that shocked me, but the fact that he was so open bout it... i thought they were joking at first but then he showed me a photo of him and his bf together.... err... well, we talked a bit and i have to say that he's very different from the gays that i've encountered before in the past.... in fact i was pleasantly surprised.... i even felt.... nvm, i shall stop at that.... it freaks me out juz thinking bout it....

went out with my colleagues yesterday evening together with some of our former recruits... haha... went to watch the omen.... its a very simple movie with a very simple plot..... not as scary as its been made out to be.... then after that we all went clubbing at mos! haha.... it was a blast.... cause there was a whole lot of us together.... it was fun... heh... faizal, sly, halim, jason, hafiz, syahmi, hamzah, darren and ikhsan were all there.... and damn it, darren's female friends are all hot! he's like one wild rich kid who juz plays around all the time and "gets it" all the time.... haha... bastard... and he's always trying to hook me up with one of "his" girls... wth....

hamzah and halim

me, syahmi, sly and hafiz at the pool centre before the movie

hamzah acting like a bastard

at mos!

stoning at mac waiting for the first train

tmr is the start of yet another 2 weeks confinement period..... will be booking in tmr morning for the new batch that's coming in... hope all will go well with this batch... this is the batch in which i'll probably be taking over the reins of the PS job.... please don cock up riz, please don.... haha... WHATEVER!!

why is it only now that its too late?

2006-06-04T20:23:00.000+08:00

its been a damn tiring week.... full of duties... had duty on tues and thurs.... and then i had guard duty yesterday.... screw it.... got back home only this morning.... but never mind, i shall bear with it a while longer.... till the new specs come in that is... haha... then it shall be their turn.... heh... i'm evil... was told that i'll be doing a platoon sergeant job next batch... cause my ps is leaving in the middle of this coming batch.. die... i know nothing bout a ps job... in fact, i'm not even sure of a section commander job.... cock up man.... my first and current batch are passing out this coming tues.... then there'll be a 2 days break on wed and thurs followed by the arrival of the new batch of recruits.... which means another 2 weeks confinement for me... sigh....

looking back on the current batch of recruits, i have to say that its been a wild rollercoaster ride.... i've learnt how to handle different types people.... and i've honestly seen a change in most of them compared to their first day in camp... i juz hope i've made a difference in their lives, no matter how small... they always say, your first batch is always special... yea, i agree... i've had a really special journey with them... damn, can't believe i'm feeling sad that they're leaving... oh wells, i wish them all the best for the next phase of their ns life..

had a call from tiffany on fri... its been awhile since i've seen or heard from that gal... haha... her voice is still as cute as ever... lol... we talked bout meeting up but it seems impossible with her schedule and mine.... she's now working at singtel.... cool... haha... don worry sweetie pie, we'll find a date =)

I'll Take The Tears - A1

Don't speak, seal your lips,
please don't say a word
maybe I won't remember the words I have not heard
I see that you're in love, I know it's not with me
but I don't want the truth to haunt my memory

It's never too late to relight the fire
it never stopped burning for me
the flame, it never died inside of me

How is it now that I can tell you I love you
How is it only now that it's too late
What can I do, the love that we had is torn in two
so you take the smiles from all of our years and I'll take the tears

I sit and reminisce, of times that we once shared
you gave me more than love
but never thought I cared
my feelings were all for you
althogh it didn't show
I only told you the day you let me go

It's never too late to relight the fire
it never stopped burning for me
The flame, it never died inside of me

How is it now that I can tell you, I love you
How is it only now that it's too late
what can I do, the love that we had is torn in two
so you take the smiles from all of our years
and I'll take the tears

Now I realise that you're not mine
but I'm hoping the pain will ease in time
although you're leaving, I won't say goodbye
because I know you're here with me inside

How is it now that I can tell you i love you
how is it only now that it's too late
What can I do the love that we had is torn in two
so you take the smiles from all of our years
and I 'll take the tears

2006-05-28T19:11:00.000+08:00

i had a talk with a couple of my recruits last week and got some pretty insightful comments from them.... one thought i was an underwear model.... hahaha.... but the worse was yet to come... i was stunned to find out that a lot of them thought i was *gulp* gay when they first saw me..... they told me that i had a cute face which many gays would find attractive.... wth.... now i know why.... this is very depressing news indeed....

went out with one of my colleague last night and we met up with a couple of my recruits, including those who thought i was gay.... we played pool and was actually planning to go clubbing, yes you heard me right, but one of the guys came down in slippers.... haha... so we settled for a small pub instead.... yea, i know most of you muz be thinking, riz going clubbing or pubbing? it juz isn't me right? haha... i guess i muz have been influenced by my army mates and not forgetting these new batch of recruits.... haha.... but don worry, i'm still the same old me.... with juz a few modifications here and there... heh, i'm talking as if i'm some kind of machine or something....

my colleague on the extreme left, and my recruits

my recruits, the guy on the left was the first to say that i had that "gay" face

my heart has juz stabbed again, this time deeper with a very blunt dagger.... well, i feel really stupid now... i'm juz a pathetic fool.... a pile of mess.... crestfallen i may be, but at least i'm glad that i know the truth now.... and i'm happy for the person.... i'm comtemplating juz letting the truth out, not because i think i still have a chance, but juz because i want to clear my heart of this heartache that has plagued me for so long.... i juz hope i'll have that chance to let it out....

2006-05-21T18:48:00.000+08:00

well, zin and val said i've been using too many damns... so for today's post, let me try to limit it to juz a few... hear that the both of you?! heh.... i had my first ever field camp with my recruits the past week... it was fun, although the weather was freaking hot.... add the weather to this pes c batch and you get a potent mixture... a lot of them couldn't take it and fell out.... quite a number of them were even sent to the medical centre due to the seriousness of their situation.... it was damn tiring i tell ya... we did really stupid things when there was a break in training.... we climbed coconut trees for the coconuts.... it tasted great... we also went to catch crabs when the tide was low.... haha... yea, our camp site was next to the sea.... we played with fire and the thunder flash, which is a very small type of explosive.... now i know why guys behave the way they do after the army... haha...

my first batch of recruits!

that's me doing a demonstration to the recruits.

me with my favourite officer.... not!!

caught by surprise

i love these next 2 pics... its beautiful... for the 2nd one, the plane came at the right timing and i caught it on camera..

one of my recruit's dad juz passed away.... its really sad... it reminded me of my granduncle again.... sigh....

i'm feeling very very confused now.... i'm really at a loss.... i knew the risks involved but i juz felt that i had to take it.... i really gave a lot of thought into it... been thinking bout it for a few months.... the only thing that was holding me back was the fear of losing what we have now.... but now, its at a standstill... after i heard that "news", it really felt as if someone stabbed my heart with a knife... and if that wasn't enough, the knife was twisted.... i guess its juz my fault... i knew that it was out of my league but i still wanted to try.... and now i feel as if my fear is coming true.... the fear of losing what we have.... i probably need to clear things up and tell the truth.... the truth will probably hurt, but i juz need that confirmation.... thats juz me.... i need a confirmation before i stop.... before i stop destroying whatever that is left of what we have....

2006-05-14T15:41:00.000+08:00

had been thinking bout buying a digicam for the past months.... and i finally did it.... on fri morning, straight after i booked out from camp, i went directly to mustafa centre.... was actually thinking of getting the sony cybershot t30, but the price was a bit too steep for me... heh.... thats putting it mildly.... then i decided to settle on my second choice, the casio exilim s600.... damn it, it looks good! haha... i'm in love with it.... the thing that i love most bout it is that its so damn slim.... and the photos are also pretty good... haha... i sound so obsessed...

then in the afternoon, i met up with zin baby for lunch at marina square.... damn, she looks gorgeous as usual.... its been a freaking long time since i've seen her, and i'll have to agree with val that she has turned into such a pretty young lady.... well, after all, she's a burmese princess.... heh... don kill me... but zin, don let this get to your head ah.... i'm praising you now, but that doesn't mean you can praise yourself.... i took this opportunity to test out my camera.... she's my first model.... lol.... and oh yea, congrats to zin for getting a job! and don worry, u'll still look good in that outfit... u always do.... damn it, that's one thing which i hate bout u.... u look good in almost anything.... heh.... and remember the "challenge".... haha....

the gorgeous princess

yesterday, i met up with akil.... its been a month since i've met him.. all thanks to our ns committments... yea, bought some army stuff... we then went to bugis junction cause i was looking for a pair of black shoes for some classified thingy....
damn it, been spending quite a lot these few days.... but never mind, its all worth it.. haha... then at night, we met up with the rest of the gang at akil's place to catch the FA cup final match between liverpool and west ham.... it was cool to finally be able to meet them again after not meeting them for awhile.... oh yea, liverpool won on penalties.... shucks... oh wells, thats all for now.... cheers peeps!

chee chow and the commando, dave

the cool akil looking stunned... haha....

2006-05-02T17:09:00.000+08:00

my granduncle whom i was quite close to juz passed away..... can't believe this is happening now.... why...

2006-05-01T23:59:00.000+08:00

finally, i'm back and able to rest... i've been given a day off for tmr and will be booking back in tmr night... its been a very very crazy and busy past 2 weeks.... the recruits have been giving us a lot of trouble.... i thought that it would a relaxing batch since they're all pes c recruits meaning that they have certain problems which does not allow them to participate in normal bmt training... boy, was i wrong! there have been a record number of recruits reporting sick according to the medical centre and not to mention the number of recruits being sent out to changi general hospital for treatment as their condition was considered serious... instructors were running all around trying to get things right.... and i thought that was all.... the "problems" that some of them had were not of the physical kind.... some had problems of the mental kind also.... arghh... these are the worse to handle... there are also those who have "sexual orientation problems".... but i have to be professional bout it.... there was this one recruit who actually ran off while i brought them for lunch and i had to search for him.... i was in a state of panic at that point of time.... bloody bugger... thank goodness he was found.... apparently, he wanted to see the medical officer and was afraid that we wouldn't let him.... but having said all that, it has not been all gloom and doom.... there are also recruits who are fun to teach to and who would make you laugh at their stupid jokes and antics.... well, today is labour day and its SUPPOSED to be a holiday, but where was i? i was stuck in camp as usual.... THE ARMY.....

my dad had an accident on fri night with his bike.... apparently he tripped over a piece of wood and fell.... and luckily, the bus which was behind him stopped in time.... if not, i honestly don't know what would have happened.... he had skin torn off from parts of his feet and knees.... but whatever it is, i'm juz glad that he's ok.... he's going off to korea again next week.... and after that he'll be going off to germany for the world cup.... how cool is that... i still remember the time when he brought me to the world cup in korea a few years back.... it was like a dream come true for me.... it was a great experience even though we only watched one match....

these days, i've been thinking alot bout all my friends, especially those who used to be close to me and those who are still close to me but whom i haven't met face to face in a bloody long time.... looking at their photos online juz isn't enough... i juz feel like asking them out one by one and see them in person, see how they've changed, how they look now and basically juz to catch up with them.... but the prob is, i don know how to go about doing it.... haha... i'm a weird one... firstly, i'm not the organising type, i juz follow people around when they organise outings.... heh.... secondly, the limited free time that i have.... thirdly, i'm afraid that some people might find it weird that i'm suddenly asking them out of nowhere for no apparent reason... haha.... i'm really a weird one i guess =) oh well, we'll see how it goes.. cheers!

2006-04-20T23:40:00.000+08:00

something incredible happened last night in tekong.. 2 ladies came down to our spec mess wearing short and sexy nurse's uniforms and did a sort of striptease show.... haha... they were dancing sexily around 2 guys while taking off their clothes till they were in their bikinis.... they even stripped the top of the guys... it was weird to see that happening in tekong... imagine that happening in a room full of horny bastards.... haha.... but the worst thing was, i missed the whole damn thing! damn... i was on duty when some of my friends smsed me saying i was missing out on a lot... idiots... i still didn't realise what was happening until my friends came back and showed me their video recordings.... those lucky bastards! never mind... its juz a stupid cheap thrill... heh...

a stupid thing happened this morning... our oc had given us permission to book out to relax for today as our new intake is tmr.. then when we, all the new specs, had already booked out and were already on the bus to pasir ris, we got a call from our 2ic saying we had to come back to tekong as our individual photos need to be taken... feeling damn frustrated, we called the so called photographer, who was a fellow spec, to see if it was possible to meet us outside as he was on his way to the ferry terminal.... thank goodness he agreed.... so we went to have lunch first at changi village while waiting for the photographer.... i was dressed in civilian clothings but in order to take those photos, i had to change to my no.4... so i went to the toilet at the hawker centre and changed, feeling really really stupid as people came in and out of the toilet looking at me as if i was some kind of weirdo.... sucks.... after all that, we went to the ferry terminal where we met the photographer and took our photos in the toilet.... don ask me why the toilet... finally after it was all over, we all went out of the ferry terminal again and went home.... the guards muz have thought we were crazy to have come in and out of the ferry terminal so many times.... i really really felt like an idiot then... wtf....

my first ever batch of recruits are coming in tmr morning.... feeling abit nervous... and it also sucks due to the fact that i'll be confined for 2 weeks in this island with them..... arghh!

2006-04-17T23:41:00.000+08:00

i'm starting to develop these feelings again... and i hate it... cause it brings nothing but trouble to me so far... i've tried my best to supress these feelings for some time but it juz won go away... in fact, its getting stronger.... i hate it when this happens... i've had so many bad experiences in the past that i wished it would juz go away... experiences which have left me demoralised and feeling worthless.... i know that following these feelings would bring me to no good end..... i also know that its juz not possible for it to work out, but why does these feelings continue to grow.... someone help me....

2006-04-15T01:22:00.000+08:00

what the hell are these feelings! get out of my mind please...

2006-04-09T19:01:00.000+08:00

sorry for the outburst in the previous post... juz venting out my frustration after being pushed around too much in camp... forget bout that... did enlistment duty on fri and sat... and saw a lot of babes... haha... they were either there to send off their brothers or boyfriends... it was a great feast for the eyes... heh... but there was one particular girl who caught my eye... that sweet sweet face... i can still picture it in my head... that smile... all the other guys noticed her too and were talking bout her at the back.... i juz couldn't stop looking at her then... at one point of time, she came up to me with this sweet sweet smile asking for the ladies.... man, i nearly melted.... haha.... but all good things had to come to an end, and she went off with her family.... sigh... have been thinking bout her ever since.... damn it, i'm obsessed!! this is definately not healthy.... i don't even know her name.... haha...

dave is finally back from thailand.... after one whole month there.... and he still hasn't changed one bit... haha... met up with him yesterday evening together with the rest of the group... caught ice age2... it was pretty cool.... and the whole time i was with them they were constantly disturbing me bout the progress package that they were gonna get while i, being the youngest of the lot and also bout a month late to be eligible for the package, miss out on it.... idiots.... haha... never mind, i'll get the whole lot of them to treat me to a movie or something when they get their cash... heh...

2006-04-02T14:46:00.000+08:00

juz got back from camp this morning because i had duty yesterday... and it was all last min... i was told bout it only a few hours before i was to book out on fri... idiots... slept only for 2 hours.... and i have to book back in tonight.... and for the next 2 weekends, i'll only have my sunday off because of duties again on those saturdays....then the following week after that, i'll be confined for 2 weeks due to the new batch of recruits coming in.... arghh!! who says a bmtc instructors' life is great!! fcuk it!!

2006-03-26T15:40:00.000+08:00

my life now is so full of... nothing actually... nothing exciting is happening. its becoming more of a routine now, a boring one at that... booking in to camp, booking out and spending the weekends mostly at home with the occasional meeting up with friends every now and then... not that i am complaining, but its juz that i feel as if i'm not making full use of my time and my life at the moment... and i juz hate going back to camp, for one reason or another... going back only once a week.... its juz depressing taking that damn ferry service to that island.... its a different story the other way round though... haha...

i booked out on thurs night together with the recruits from the company that i'm attached to.... and then i was told to book in the following night... why, because they were conducting ippt for the perm staff in bmtc on sat morning.. i said ok since i thought it was a compulsory thing for all the specs... in the end i realised that those who were called to turn up were mostly all the new specs... and the "experienced" ones who called us up didn't even turn up... that made me pissed... we were not told or taught what to do and in the end we improvised as we went along... i was warned beforehand that it was "standard" practice to push as much work as they can to the new specs.... but i didn't know that it was this bad.... at least for my company, it isn't that bad... i've seen my other friends being on duty almost every alternate day.... now, that's bad... and tonight i have to book in earlier than usual... simply because they want us to see and learn how to handle recruits during their booking in.... whatever lah...

oh yea, went out with akil and liang ping yesterday.... congrats to lp for his promotion! haha... caught v for vendetta... brilliant movie i muz say.... and a very powerful one at that... though i think it would be impossible for one person to do all that by himself.... hmmm... i'm officially broke now.... my phone bills from taiwan was incredibly terrible.... haha... can't believe it myself.... anybody would be shocked to know of the amount... and its still a long way to go to the next pay... oh wells... cheers for now!

2006-03-14T18:03:00.000+08:00

i've been posted back to bmtc... dread going back to that island again.... haha... but then again, its not that bad if you really look at it.. the past few weeks on the island have been really slack as we've not been posted to any company yet.. instead, we've been undergoing a course to prepare us for the jobs that awaits us.... its been bloody boring i tell ya... its like an 8-5 course but the problem is you can't book out... it means even if your lessons end at 4 in the evening, you have no choice but to aimlessly wander around tekong, waiting for the next day's lessons.... oh wells... the course ends this week and then we'll finally be posted to our companies...
btw, dave flew off to thailand for training last week... wonder how that bastard is doing... haha... juz had my pop from aslc 3 weeks ago and already i'm thinking of my ord.... can't wait for it man! 1 year and 2 months left... haha... thats the only thing that i'm looking forward to now.... ord, please come soon....

2006-02-26T20:38:00.000+08:00

i'm back!! ROC was a blast... haha... the training was tough, but it was an experience which i'll never forget... the RnR was great with all the taiwanese girls around... haha... don worry yah, i didn't do anything "funny" over there... anyways, i've finally passed out as a third sergeant!!! i had my pop yesterday afternoon and it was a great feeling.. but its sad to leave my mates once again... we've bonded so well after all the shit that we went through together but now we're going on our separate ways... i've been posted back to bmtc... going back to tekong once again... dunno if i should feel happy or sad... haha... well, i'll juz do my best there!! oh by the way, HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY to the FANTASTIC and GORGEOUS ZINMAR!!! you're old now! haha.... Cheers!!

2006-01-30T23:49:00.000+08:00

i'm officially an adult now... spent my birthday last week doing nothing much as i had to book in the very same evening... my family bought a small cake, the idea of my little brother who insisted that a picture of a fighter plane be placed on the cake as he knew that i'm interested in planes... thanks brother.. love him so very much!! not forgetting my family too, i love them very much!!
it seems like it was juz yesterday that i started my first day of poly.... time really flies when you're having fun... not really looking forward to the future cause i simply don't know what the heck i'll be doing then.... enough said...
took a ride on a chinook last week also.... it was damn cool... but too bad it was only for awhile.... it was simply too short....
will be flying off to taiwan this coming sat... feeling freaking nervous now.... i'll be there for 3 weeks.... even though friends have told me it'll be fun over there, somehow i still have doubts bout it... cause i'm juz so afraid of screwing up, again... that's how lowly i think of myself.... but then again, so many people have gone through it and survived... i'll juz do my best i guess... take care peeps... cheers..

2006-01-09T23:11:00.000+08:00

i'm getting more sick of this course.... getting more disillusioned by the day.... what's the purpose of me being there.... i juz don understand some of the training that we do.... really really can't wait for the course to end.... oh well... these days, i've been feeling really down... in fact, i've been feeling like this ever since i entered this bloody course.... i know it will sound stupid if i say this, but i've been feeling kind of lonely... go ahead and laugh.... i feel as if there's no one for me to talk to.... and i've realised that i don really have that many friends.... its more of acquaintances rather than friendship.... to think that i felt i had many friends when i was in poly.... it was like i was living in a fantasy world all this while, and suddenly i got woken up into the present reality.... feeling so useless and so worthless.... i have no aim in life, and i really don know what i'm gonna do in future... damn... why am i feeling this way... shit, i've been whining more than usual today... please do ignore this post if you find it too painful or too annoying for your comfort....

2005-12-26T14:22:00.000+08:00

its been a very long time since i've updated. the thing is, i juz have not had the time to do it. it sucks... well, i've juz ended my previous course but, i am now in another course in the same sucky unit.... its a so called extension from the previous course... wtf.... why can't they juz let me leave.... most of my friends are already out.... oh well, at least i'm no longer a private.... but then again, i don think my instructors gives a fcuk bout it anyways.... i'm entering the 4th week of this new course and already, i'm feeling like shit.... the instructors hasn't change one bit, always putting me down whenever they feel like it.... maybe they have something against me or something.... screw them.... 9 more weeks and i'll be through with this damn freaking course.... i'll be going off to taiwan for training in early feb for bout 3 weeks... don know if i should be looking forward to that... hopefully it'll be fun... nowadays, whatever free time that i have are mostly spent with my family and my close buddies.. one day for each group... haha.... don really have much time to myself though.... but its ok, cause its these 2 groups of people who really make my day whenever i see them... i love them all! cheers! oh yea, happy holidays to everyone!

2005-11-01T22:53:00.000+08:00

the past few weeks have been hell... especially the last 2 weeks confinement that i had.... i was really stretched to the limits by the training and the standards imposed on us... there were times when i seriously thought bout quitting... i started thinking of ways and injuries that i could fake that could get me out of the damn course... i was that desperate.... the instructors were not helping either... it seems as though they all have something against me... saying things that i'm useless and stupid and that i don deserve to be there... messing up our bunks... throwing rubbish on the floor...i never thought that i would be affected by all this, especially those words that they say to me... i tried to ignore it, but after a while, it started to get to me.... all those words... i guess i'm juz mentally weak... i'm juz weak... i may be physically fit in the sense that when it comes to running and stuff like that, i can do it as well as anybody else.. but when it comes to combat fitness, when i go outfield for days straight without enough sleep every single day, i'm juz not able to take it... it didn't help that i saw and heard things in the jungle that bordered on the paranomal.... and it wasn't only me... my friends experienced "it" too.... it was crazy, and i honestly don know how i managed to get through the past 2 weeks... i missed having time to myself and not having to rush... a few more weeks and i'll be through... i can't wait.... but then again, it may juz turn out to be a false hope....

2005-10-09T18:30:00.000+08:00

3 weeks have passed since i entered sispec and i'm still alive!! yay! haha... life in there is definately a huge change from bmt, now i know why my sergeants always told us that bmt would be the best time of our ns life... basically there's not much time for myself, by the time i reach home, i'll be shagged to the max and i'll have to go back in the next day.. that sucks... its physically and mentally draining.... i guess one of the good things is that i'm in the most "fun" platoon in my company... but then again, due to that fact, we are being targeted and eyed damn closely by our oc... heh... i miss being free damn it!! i hate the feeling of being constrained, not being to do this and that.. i hate not being able to spend time with my family and friends... but i have to bear with it for the next few months at least.... here i go whining again.... i'm such a whiny ass! heh... oh well, i've got to go prepare myself to go back in later tonight. take care peeps!

2005-09-17T00:20:00.000+08:00

i've been posted to sispec... damn... juz the thought of going back to tekong depresses me.. but i guess i juz have to accept it... its not like i can do anything bout it.. but i really wonder if i can take the training if all the stories that i've heard are true... hmmm... oh well, at least when i come out i'll get 3 stripes... haha... but i know its not much lah compared to most of my platoon mates... i found out that a lot of the peeps in my company are heading to OCS... what the hell man... i think almost a quarter of them are posted there... crap... i'll probably have to salute them the next time i see them.... haha... the beginning is here! zin, sorry for whining to ya this afternoon! i'm juz a whiny ass! heh... 2 more days...

2005-09-12T17:59:00.000+08:00

yea, i'm back from the evil clutches of bmt.. but i don feel exhilarated or anything like what i thought i would feel... i feel empty... wtf... i'm supposed to be feeling happy for goodness sake! where are those feelings!! damn, i think i'm seriously losing it.. what have i been doing ever since i passed out from tekong? well, nothing much... played soccer with my platoon on fri, went out with my nyp buddies on sat and attended 2 malay weddings yesterday with my family... hmmm, that's bout it.... i'll be getting my next posting this coming friday... like my dad said, its only the beginning... i wonder what lies in store for me...

dave will be continuing his commando training, so congrats to him... haha... and akil will only be passing out on wed, which means he'll only have 4 days to rest till his next posting... he was complaining to me bout how he would have seen 3 batches of my company throughout his stay in bmt... the first batch was when he first came in, the second when i came in, and the third, the batch after mine... heh...

oh yah, bout the murder of the filipino lady, the murder actually happened in my area.... damn... now, that's scary....